There's a good chance I'd slug someone who said that to me.
Why would you do that to someone who does it genuinely and truly heartfelt? Think about it for a moment. It is how you react to what people say/do and you are only responsible for your own reactions.
Wonka, perhaps if there was a context of strong agreement about who did what wrong... Otherwise, "I forgive you" sounds a whole lot like, "I've passed judgement on you. Here's my verdict, which I'm giving you out of the kindness of my holier-than-thou heart."
And I wouldn't actually slug someone who said that. I'd just fantasize about it... I am a pacifist, you know...
Despite my best efforts at being a party poop, my housemate dragged me out to a moonlight kayak gathering on a nearby lake. Ooh, that was beautiful. Best firefly show ever on the way home, too. Then there was all that strawberry shortcake. Incredible homemade biscuits... Lovely solstice.
More GAL this evening. So important and such a challenge...
You make good and valid points, Stubborn. I do see where you're coming from as it applies in your own sitch. Fortunately, my DXW saw my forgiveness as not judgement passed on to her, but more of a release for both of us.
I'm perking up at the mention of strawberry shortcake...they're wonderful in the summertime! Good for your housemate.
I'd been at loose ends lately. Not doing so well at my grounding routines. Noticing anger and resentments about P bubbling to the surface, which freaked me out inordinately. I really don't want to be going down that road. Zig reminded me to sit with my feelings. When I sat with the sadness and did some grieving, the anger and resentments disappeared. When they come back, remind me to sit with the pain, okay?
A talk with a friend today helped me realize a few helpful things. One is that I can see some progress in myself. Though I beat myself up for repeating mistakes, I have at least come to the realization that the path forward involves forgiving myself. And I can envision that it might be possible.
And just as sitting with the sadness about P is necessary, so is sitting with my anger at myself and the pain and fears that underlie it.
I'm being more conscious about moving outside my comfort zone. Practicing speaking to strangers... LOL
When they come back, remind me to sit with the pain, okay?
How's that going for you?
Though I beat myself up for repeating mistakes, I have at least come to the realization that the path forward involves forgiving myself. And I can envision that it might be possible.
What would it take for you to forgive yourself? It does not necessarily need to take a seismic event for it to take place. For me, it was very hard work to mentally prod myself toward forgiving myself.
As for "mistakes", I like to think of them as patterns. Some patterns can be changed. When I looked at some of these patterns, I changed those that I did not like and felt impeded my personal growth. Once I let go some of these patterns, I felt more stronger and confident.
Yes Wonka, those mistakes are patterns all right. And tapping on the pain or fear does a really good job of avoiding the development of anger and resentment.
Bets, I'm doing well. Thanks for checking. The holiday was, oddly, a bit rough since I didn't have plans.
I had been slowly working toward getting another date. She turned out to be unavailable (and I don' just mean for Saturday night). Now, all the distractions are cleared away. It's down to just me in my head. That's feeling pretty peaceful, actually.
I am a pacifist, you know...
Good for your housemate.