Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Trying to stay in it, keeps getting harder. #3

Ahhhh Siiiiii! Taco Bueno! How I miss Taco Bueno! I used to live in Dallas. We don't have them here in SC. Yummo!

You're not babbling. We got your back! Just like you have been there for me and so many others! (((InIt)))

Posting is really good for me when I'm having a tough day. It gives the thoughts somewhere to land and gets them out of my freakin' head! LOL! It get's a little crowded in there doesn't it?

Post away my dear!

Bueno was amazing!

You said it perfect...posting gives a spot for my thoughts to land.

Here's some more:
I've calmed down. Although my mind is still racing, my tears have subsided.
H texted me & asked if I wanted to go to a certain retail store on Sunday to do some shopping. Said he got an email with a coupon. Really? Who is this guy? This was only about 10 minutes ago. I don't know what to do? I don't want to completely ignore him, but I don't just want to be at his beck & call either. How does a simple "sure" sound? What I really want to say is "how about we talk about the elephant in the room?" I won't, but it would be nice.

TACO BUENO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My sis went to college in Tulsa and many a drunken food run was there. Man, I loves me some taco bueno!

NEVER say you are sorry for posting! We have all been there, get there. I'm so very grateful for this place, I would have gone insane,

Wait a bit and say "Sounds good". Just remember, no expecations and try not to read anything into it.

YOU'VE GOT THIS!!!! YOU ROCK!

oohhh El Hubbo is reminding me of my W right now. LOL! (pardon my Spanglish... it's been in my head since you typed about tacos!)

I agree with Tallula. Give it a couple of hours and then text back a brief acceptance. He reminded me of when my W earlier this week texted me a picture of my dog that's with her and she said "...'dog's name' is missing you!", while she was with the AP. I had the same wonderland experience! Really? What?!?

Well... he reached out to you on your anniversary. He asked you to spend time with him the day after her returns. Just be in that for a while. Keep your power to make choices. We observe. We don't pursue. We respond. We don't react.

Great job feeling your way through all the tears this morning!!!

I am here too!! ((( ))))

Everytime you make a choice, you do, as RT put it, exercise your power.

I find that I am very aware these days of what I do and I stop and think, I am choosing to do this. It makes me stronger, somehow. Sometimes, I think that we think we don't get to choose, but that is not true. When we pretend that there is no choice, well, then we can blame something or someone else and not have to look at our choices too closely.

Ok. I responded with Tallula's suggestion of "Sounds good." This is hard. Now that he has opened up some communication it just makes me want to find another reason to keep texting him. Ugh. He replied back with an "ok".

I just really want to ask him if he's checked out? If he text about Sunday so he could come home & it be peaceful. Is he just buying more time while he gets all his ducks in a row.

I still can't help but to feel that I may be ready for him to just go. I really don't think deep down that's what I want, but it feels so real. I think I just want him to hurt. No more door mat for me. No more best of both worlds for him. With my emotions today I think I'm just having the feeling of wanting it all to be over. I've got to get through this. I can do it.

Well, really ask yourself why you want him to leave. Is it because it's for you? Is your life better when he is goes? Is it to feel like you have some say in the sitch? Just to "hurt" him or get him to see something?

Start journaling about that. More will be realived to you and you will know when you need the space or if you don't. Don't rush any big decisions.

Keep sitting on those texting hands, and like I said, try to have no expectations or read into what H might be thinking.

You want to keep texting him because you want him to say what to you?

If you ask him about being checked out... you won't like his answer right now. You know that. Don't make him defend his actions. Because he will.

Yes, you can do it. You've BEEN doing it. This quote reminds me of the LimboLand we live in as LBS's:

“And one has to understand that braveness is not the absence of fear but rather the strength to keep on going forward despite the fear.” ― Paulo Coelho

... and you have always kept on going! Does that sound like a door mat to you?

Nope. I don't want him to leave. It scared me to really even think it. I want him to feel something. Hurt? Probably. Would he? Doubt it. Not at this point.

I want to keep texting purely for the communication. I want to feel wanted. I want to correspond with him so in some way it will tell me he cares. I really don't think it's about the anniversary, I had no expectations for it anyhow. I think it became more about the anniversary when I woke up this morning after a really long sh!tty week & realized that H really wasn't coming home today & he very well could have. His work finished up last night & he could've been on the first flight home.

I don't want him to walk in the door tomorrow & say we need to talk because he just spent a week with OW & feels like he has the strength to finally leave.

I don't want my daughters to go through any of this. My D5 asked me on Wednesday if H loved me anymore. Wow. I said nothing. D7 told her to stop because she didn't want to cry. I told them both I loved them & their dad. On BD our girls saw is get very emotional. They know that we've "had some arguments about group up stuff" and that's about it. They are very aware of their surroundings & pick up on our moods I'm sure.

This may sound crazy, but I think I'm going to eat Mexican food for dinner again tonight. Maybe take the girls to our favorite local Mexican place.

Oh, RT...love that quote. Thank you.