I still want to bump into mr right at the grocery store , have instant chemistry and live happily ever after:)
Big Lots - remember? (Ok, so he didn't work out, but he was fun for a little while).
Don't get too caught up in it Gineen - it's just a way to meet, you'll have to sift through a few dozen before you find someone you like. And people stop writing for all kinds of reasons - went out of town on business, girl they dated last week called them back, whatever - don't take ANY of it personally at this stage of the game.
And sure, dress up cute and go grocery shopping after 6 pm. But keep looking online as well.
woohooo betsey!!! that is cool.. i also like that you think the women posting old pics is deceitful. i agree. actually my pof profile says that. i got sick of it and figured i might as well throw it out there. im honest and expect the same. cant wait for the update!!!
gineen- its cool. alot of guys online are just wierdos. but there are some out there that are cool. i know cuz im one of them..lol so dont give up, but dont drop your boundries either. be you and it will work.
Wii- i think you are the only one concerned with the package!!1 lmao!!!
Gineen, have fun with it! I am. Here are some gems I've read while perusing ladies profiles...
I can bet most of you that I’d kick your asses on a gun range and or skeet shooting. Looking for someone that knows how to exhale and inhale. I smell good. I can still fit into the same earrings I wore in High School. I’m easy to get along with as long as you don’t irritate me. Asking me out after work is a really bad idea. I’d rather go home and take a nap. No ugly people! If you say something stupid I’ll block you. I spend most of my time with my 2 pit bulls. I do not respond to Hey baby, let’s do it This is a part time position with limited benefits leading to a full time position with full benefits for the right candidate. Oh yes please don't friggin assume I'm out every night dating at least say hello, get to know me before discussing wild sexual positions that you wish you could get me into. I do not like self fish. You had better look like your photo... or you're buying me drinks until you do! Not into any weirdo, freeky deeky dudes Lecherous is good but you better be able to back it up. You are confident, you know how to appreciate a good woman, you are not superfacial. ohhh and I hate working out other than in the bedroom if the extent of your conversation is “how big are your boobs” or” I would do you” please move on. I may appear to be online but I am actually not. I am looking for my redeemer. Is there anyone on here that’s not a DOUCHE?
Absolutely, there are some good ones there. I just picked out ones that I noticed for either being witty, funny or just plain stupid! Personally, I like the benefits lady!
Honestly G, I think most of these emails are guys just fishing. They don't want to invest more than a few seconds in any one woman...and will probably fail miserably at finding someone. Then they get pissed off when women don't reply saying "they're all stuck up" etc. Either that or they are guys just looking to make humiliating comments to women...and sadly enough, there appears to be lots of them out there. The guys to look at, as you know, are the guys who sit down and read your profile. They'll take the time to think about who you are and comment on those things. I never messaged a lot of women but the ones I did, I always did what I mentioned above...and threw in a witty line or two, naturally! Almost every woman writes that she likes to laugh and wants a man with a sense of humour. For the Filipina's I'd throw in a word or two in Tagalog...they get back to you! There's a book I like about online dating called "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book", check it out. Good stuff. I find the psychology of online dating fascinating.
You certainly have taken up a lively conversation since yesterday afternoon!
Wii, that list is THE funniest thing I've ever read! My favorite on there is:
Quote:
You had better look like your photo... or you're buying me drinks until you do!
I wish I thought of that! That's amazing!
Before I tell you about him, I want to say something to Gineen. I hope you don't take this wrong, dear girl. And I mean this sincerely for all the right reasons. Maybe it's just not a good time for you to date? At least using online methods? Other than meeting Mr. Right at the grocery store and falling in love, what are your goals for it? Are you looking for Mr. Right? Mr. Right Now? Or a sometimes companion to occasionally go out to dinner or a movie?
I'm probably the worst role model in the world for you. I didn't date for 8 years. EIGHT YEARS. I regret NONE of it. I knew my D19 was not wild about sharing me, and I didn't want to miss out even one hour of her growing up and following her around volleyball courts like the gypsy I was. I focused 100% of my attention to being their mom.
In the meantime, I had to find *some* way to fill that gap. For 6 years, I was the bookkeeper for her volleyball club. My closest friend there was someone who was like a brother to me. In fact, his wife called me his work wife LOL. I went out in groups with them. I was one of the guys, and occasionally, one of the girls. I played golf with them. I went to hockey games with them. And when I wasn't with these guys, I hung out with the parents who became dear friends over the years. Filling my life with friends helped tremendously.
Somewhere along the line, I actually didn't want to date at all. My friends told me that I wore a "go away" sign on my persona, and apparently it did the trick.
I'm not suggesting you do what I did or take as long as I did. But just maybe a time out for a few days, weeks or months to figure out what you'd do with Mr. Tall, Dark and Hot if he knocked on your door tomorrow. Actually, that's how I knew I wasn't ready to date - I could visualize him, and I didn't want it. So easy peasy for me. The only thing I could picture saying to him was "F*ck off. Come back next year." That pretty much told me I wouldn't know a good thing if it was packaged with a bow.
And if you say you want to continue the march, I will support you on that. Why don't we help you tailor your profile a bit to use strong verbiage?
Okay, so my night. It was good. He's sweet and kind and what he said he was behind the online wall. He met my D19, and I know I'm going to be having a long discussion with her tonight after work. They seemed to like each other. He had a few beers while we watched City Slickers, was not comfortable driving home, so he spent the night. Yep. The starving chick showed up at a banquet and just couldn't help herself.
The good thing? He definitely wants to date me. He's engaging, works hard and actually enjoys communicating. So check there. At least I didn't do the walk of shame.
I just want to talk to D19 about my failing humanity, and let her know I'm not going to be a dolt and make her feel uncomfortable in her own home ever again. Mr. Sweet Stuff said he'd definitely tell her that he likes me and that he doesn't want her to think that it's meaningless.
So somewhere in the middle of the night, he pretty much told me what Wii said. He also added that he knows a lot of men who are divorced and that all they want is easy sex, they're not nice about it and they don't care if they hurt others because it's all about them. He also said they seek low lying fruit, and they are mean because they don't want a relationship. Being an a*hole guarantees the self confident woman seeking more will run away. How pathetic is that?
I also told him a little bit about our conversations here. Including the junk stuff. He told me he'd NEVER do that. But the sad, sad, no, pathetic thing is that he knows men who do. And furthermore, he's had the same thing happen with women.
I hid my profile yesterday because I don't want to answer 65 messages or flirts. Half of them live somewhere else. I told him I did it. And he told me he's really glad because he wants me all to himself. We have our first official date on Sunday evening. And I'm happy about that.
Try not to be too disappointed in me for being a weak, weak woman. I'm 51 and I had forgotten how awesome it is just to have a man hold me and rub my hip and tell me how beautiful I am and how much fun I am. It's heady stuff. And even if it's not a long term thing, I am totally embracing the Mr. Right Now concept.
He asked me what I want. I told him I was still figuring myself out, but my profile intentions right now are accurate - a casual relationship. I told him that I'm open to more, though, but that I just don't *need* to be in a relationship on the marriage track right now. He said he was okay with it for now, but that he's hoping for more commitment down the road. I told him that girl may or may not be me, and he accepted it.
So this morning, he's texted me and let me know that I'm everything he thought I'd be and more. That's about as good as it gets in my world. I just need to figure things out with my D19 now. Hopefully, it won't be the worst talk we've ever had. At the very least, she and I can communicate about this stuff.
So that's my story for now. Sigh.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
You don't like extremes much do you, Betsey. From nothing for 8 years to you-know-what on the first meet! Be careful and go slow. Easy to say, I know. I'm the sh!ts at going slow myself (and I'm not just talking about sex here) but...anwyay, he sounds like a decent fellow so keep us posted
Sigh. I know. I was never one to be this way so doggone it, it's kind of weird. I had a feeling it was gonna be this way. It's like dangling a cigarette in front of someone at a bar who's been on the wagon for so long. I'm really a balanced person, so this catches me off guard.
I'm definitely going to slow this train down. I know it's a bit hard after you come out of the gate like we did.
I can't say that I'm regretting it, but maybe deep down inside I do. I know when I was younger if things started this way, I ended them immediately too. I actually told Sweet Stuff that. He seemed appalled, and asked me if I was going to take that road. I told him honestly no.
So I think the next best thing is to take a step back, accept the past - knowing that we all have basic human needs and apparently I was sorely in need on meeting that one - and move forward.
At least he's not an a*hole.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
No judging from me, but all I have to say is WOW - your online first dates are much more interesting than the ones I've been on...
As for the dating thread here - I'm about 6 weeks out of my last relationship which was ended by her not me. Still getting over her but starting to contemplate dipping my toe back in the online dating world. I've actually had more positive experiences than negative ones, just was hoping this last one was going to actually be my last.
Best of luck with "sweet stuff" and I hope he continues to be what you are looking for.
Betsey
Betsey