Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Unreality check

Bea, I so appreciate your helpful, positive and encouraging (and humorous) posts on my thread, and on so many others. Now that I have read YOUR threads, I am flabbergasted by what you've been thru with your "semi-compliant grumpy teenager!" I don't know if these attempts to get back into a relationship with you and your kids means that he is finally starting to wake up from his fog after all these years, (that would be so nice!) or if he just occasionally sees what he has been missing (kids and fabulous wife of 35 years!), and wants it ALL.

I know that it is a possibility that any or all of our miscreant Hs might never come out of MLC, (or if they do, that they will not want us anymore, or more likely, we will no longer want them after all that time), but I am trying to stay hopeful.

But I was asking myself "how could Bea not be bitter after that miserable man has put her and her kids thru so much" then found this you had written:

"I was blindsided, heartbroken and utterly bereft. I had been married for more than 35 years to this man. Now I am a stylish woman who lives alone, although with many friends visiting, has a great family, and LOVES her life.

We find ourselves in the hurt and pain and grief, but we do not know the gift we are being given until some long while later

Am I glad it happened? No, my marriage was fabulous and worthwhile.That is the paradox We would not wish it to have happened, but as it has, the secret is to find the true gift in the abandonment."

Thank you for writing that, so heartfelt and eloquent. It gives me even greater hope, that I will be happy in my life. With our without my H. Thanks so much Bea!