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That's what Im working towards Urworthy!! I don't want to have to think about it when I asked. lol
Having said that we are not going now. Following text between W and I:

Me: I looked at info and says must be at 4 to attend

W: Hes close enough

Me: Looks like a cool event. Tickets still available?

W: yep

Me: I think son would enjoy it. But it looks like it will be an all night event and all I have with me is t-shirts and flip flops

W: Yea. And I'm Tired. Next year

Me: It really does look like a cool event. It would be fun. We are going to take son swimming. He is having so much fun

W: Ok. Miss him, but glad hes doing well. Maybe he could stay a few nights with your mom? I thought I would be more mobile than this by now

W: Chat later. Im going to sleep




Next year? I mean why does she even say these things. Stay with my mom for a few nights? I guess its typical of WAW
so confusing sometimes

She just got me confused. LOL!

C, that's why it's best to just keep communication between you son related as much as you can and leave her to walk her journey.

You have to try to not engage in these kinds of conversations or your head will hurt.

Urworthy, These conversations are driving me crazy. She sent nice texts and pictures most of the day. Even sent me pics of her "surgery"
She also go kind of upset when I asked if I could bring son to her around 2pm. She said, "so you have other plans"
I said yes. She said ok, but then followed that with I thought you would want to see me after this surgery. I am at a lost.
Or at least I was for a while. I saw on FB that the OM was with the other girl in Miami. I think W is realizing she was a fling or trophy.
Here in lies the problem. I don't want her to want to work on things just because she didn't get what she wanted from OM. I will not do that. So I am assuming I need to just continue to work on me. I hate this sh!!TT

So I got home today an saw W for first time since her surgery Friday. She was drugged up big time. She asked me if I got her text last night. I said no, what text?
She said she sent some texts about working on things. I said maybe you sent them to wrog person, but regardless let's talk about it later in week.
She then follows that up with "I need a month to get myself together and know what I want"
Once again I said let's talk about that later in the week.
I was going to leave son with her, but decided that was a bad idea in her condition. Lol
I'm going to bring him back there later to bathe him and put him to sleep there. Her mom will be back by then.

C, you know the way to stop having these conversations.

And I think you are right, she is probably realizing things about the OM. Not the way you want her to want to work on things, though, right?

Yep, you should be working on your stuff, C. And leaving her to work on hers.

Get to gettin'.

Yep. That's why I said let's talk about it later in week. Oh and it won't be me bringing it up. I'm gonna chalk it up to the meds and continue my course.
I will not just be the fallback plan. She has some serious work she needs to do for herself. Just like I need to focus on my journey.
If she wanted "space" for a month and there was no OM in picture I could probably be around her and just not talk about R stuff. We could be friendly coworkers.
But as long as I think OM is involved I need to cutoff contact except for son.
Just seems how I feel right now

Good for you, C. Got yourself a good plan.:)

Thanks Urworthy!

Just sharing some knowledge that I learned this weekend.
The wise man told me to pay attention to W words and behavior this weekend after surgery. He told me that since she would be on pain medication it would knock her "shield" down.
He was right on.
WAS definitely put up their guard against emotions and talking about things. They act they aren't hurting or want nothing to do.
Well all through this weekend including today there was definite signs of her showing emotion. Of course I did not expand into these conversations knowing she was pain meds. Just told her lets talk later in week. If she brings stuff back up then great, but I won't

Excellent job, cbtdad. You've lovingly set a boundary that you need to have in place to protect yourself. And you seem to have made progress with detaching, i.e. you're not letting her actions or mood affect your PMA or distract you from the good work you're doing to rediscover the old cbtdad and the goals and dreams that he once had, and is now getting back on course to achieving for himself.

Hmm...trying to think of a good tagline... You've set your pieces in place, now see the game through to earn the W. Ahh, double-meaning, see what I did there?