is it too late to say to h ... maybe via text (as accuray posted on another thread:
h, yesterday you said you were scatterbrained and can't make decisions anymore. I'm sorry you feel that way, that must be a challenging thing to deal with. I'm sure you will figure it out, I am here if you ever want to talk about it. I hope you feel better!"
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
i just want to validate some stuff from yesterday.
Yes, I will be looking into co-d meetings, nothing seems available to me...URGHHH !!
No alcohol disorders within my family or his.
His parents split up after a 25 year marriage, then briefly got back together. They are friends and visit each other often. Even though Dad is in another long term rel'p. I sure hope H doesn't think that is our path!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
wfm, take a moment to stop and think about what is going on, what you are thinking, what is your need, that you continue to want to contact H specifically about personal matters.
Exclude anything that suggests you want to work on the R.
well, i was feeling that since I didn't validate very well yesterday that I should repair.... but, I didn't
at work, older male clients fawning over me infront of h.... referring to us as M. They were old, but it was nice to be appreciated.
leaving work... H, helps me lock up, then walks me to my car. funny thing: lately/occasionally I have been turning left out of the work driveway, to be different. This time I turned left but had to turn around and come back through town. H was still sitting there, inspite of the fact that seemed in a hurry to leave first. It may have been to see if I was continuing into the next city or to see if I was turning around to come back home. Whatev!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Wfm , stop. Detach I know it [censored] . Tomorrow another day . Whenever you come on here asking whether u should txt H the answer never changes. No. Then u do it anyway and get crushed. Just like R talk you had. Cheeseless tunnel. Stop . I've suggested ACOA or codependent meeting . Have u attended. Alanon at church ?
PON... I didn't do it!! I held off! I was just stating I would "like" to do that... but didn't!
I am waiting to find out about meetings I can attend once I get back to my doctors. There was one divorce meeting held at the church...wish I had gone.
would really like to do a co-d meeting.
TX!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
"is it too late to say to h ... maybe via text (as accuray posted on another thread:"
Don't do it.
"h, yesterday you said you were scatterbrained"
Saying that is insulting. Even if he did say it himself, don't ever repeat something like that. Hearing it from someone else (even if you were just re-interating what he said) makes it come off as an insult.
" and can't make decisions anymore."
Same here.
"well, i was feeling that since I didn't validate very well yesterday that I should repair.... but, I didn't"
The problem is just how BADLY you wanted to repair.
at work, older male clients fawning over me infront of h.... referring to us as M. They were old, but it was nice to be appreciated.
"H was still sitting there, inspite of the fact that seemed in a hurry to leave first. It may have been to see if I was continuing into the next city or to see if I was turning around to come back home."
Overanalyzing.
"Whatev!"
No you have to stop yourself from getting to that point.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
detachment is very hard WFM. Take it day by day. Personally I have days where I am very detached and then I have what I call bad internal detachment. I try to never have bad external detachment days. Letting W know she is getting to me. If you're truly detached you live life and really don't care what spouse is doing. (with unconditional love). It is a balancing act. You would be able to detach better not working with him at all. It is almost the same as living under same roof when it comes to time spent together.
