W is going out with the "girls" saturday night, and I am watching the kids.. No problem right... Well she comes over tonight and tells me she wont be home saturday night.. Hello I work sunday.. I leave at 5:30 in the morning and I am not leaving the kids alone to go to work.. I said well you better be here by 5:30... I said what big night with Om? I know.. shouldnt have.. She goes off on me about how she watched the kids while I went out of town last weekend... WTF..
I am through with this crap... She goes off on me about so much.. Just like she did when she was dating and running around.. SO in my mind om is going to be with her this saturday night.. So as usual who is at home baby sitting?? Me.. thats all I am good for. To watch her kids while she is out screwing around with Om... All this after I ler her borrow my truck to drive to her interview tomorrow, Gas it up, and give her some cash so she can buy the kids some dinner.... WTF....Ok she is on her own now. No extra money besides child support.. No more truck to drive.. No more dinners.. She is on her own...
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Kevin, remember that they are aliens. Cool down a bit before you do or say something you will regret.
If you are fed up and are ready to file, make sure your are emotionally leveled. Don't do it on impulse. take a few days, think about it and if you are comfortqable with the possibility of it being over forever, then make your decision.
If, however, you still want to save the marriage, practice unconditional love and forgiveness. Because if you start making her life hard, she will think she is more justified in what she's doing.
Don't be a doormat and do set some boundaries. You have to do this firmly but lovingly. Remember that she's selfish and irrational right now, even if she doesn't see it.
Let your emotions stabilize a bit. Then decide how to proceed.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Good evening Kevin - I see you are on one of the down side of your roller coaster ride. But in DBing you know that it does go back up. However, while you are on the down swing it is important to not make any decisions that you might later regret.
As to your not giving any more money, letting her use the truck, etc. - that might not be a bad idea. She does need to know what it will be like w/o you around. In the meantime, keep dbing, enjoy the little positives and come to the board for support when you are down. This board and my many friends here have helped me over many, many of my low points of my roller coaster ride and I have made many decisions while I was down, (I just didn't act on those decisions and then later recanted them when I started back up again)
Its over.. I just burned every bridge I could have ever had.. Huge fight.. told her to bring my truck back.. She told me no more talking no friendship just business...
I even made up stuff to tell her just to hurt her... Well it worked.. She left crying her eyes out... Didnt feel good though... I feel really bad now... Wtf... I cant win for fu**ing things up.. Why couldnt I keep my mouth shut.. Why did I make up stuff to hurt her...I guess I wanted her to hurt as much as I do...
Maybe I do need to see a counselor..
But she was saying alot of bad things to me back, saying how Fu**ed I am and such...
Telling me I needed to bring my son home to her.. Just so she can bring him back in the morning..
I am too messed up in my head to have a R anymore..
I need a break...
WTF is wrong with me..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Kevin - Yes, seems that you kinda went off the deep end, but does that mean it is over? Maybe not.
Quote: Why did I make up stuff to hurt her...I guess I wanted her to hurt as much as I do... Maybe you could tell her this. let her know that you were hurt and striking back without thinking and that she did not deserve that and ask her for forgivness. Would that be a 180? Let her know that you are working on making yourself a better person. And while you are not there yet, at least you recognize when you do go off the deep end and are man enough to admit it and ask for forgivness Maybe I do need to see a counselor.. Not a bad Idea, I know that I really got lots of good advice from DBing Coach Laurie. I would recommend her to anyone on this board.
Kevin - all is not lost. Someone on the board had a good closing phrase - Don't throw away a good life just because it is banged up a little.
We just talked on the phone.. I tried to apologize for lying to her but she just said it was my true self.. And just to let her go.. So I will... Told me things that just arent true. Things that she says I think about her.. But I tried to reassure her that its just not that... I have always thought she was/is perfect in my eyes.. She tells me I can go find a thin woman with big boobs to make me happy.. I have never ever criticized her about her body.. I have always supported her 100% in her diets and walking with her and going to the gym with her.. Its over... Stick a fork in it its done.. too much damage to ever get it back.. I made this bed now I have to lay in it..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I can see that she would think that that was your true self and it will take a lot of DBing for her to believe that you are not like that anymore. I would suggest the counselor or the dbing coach before making any decisions. You really don't have anything to loose by waiting to decide.
"I can see that she would think that that was your true self and it will take a lot of DBing for her to believe that you are not like that anymore"
I have never been that way.. I have always loved her for her. not how her body should be or is not..
Her first husband is the one that always put her down for her body.. ruined her self confidence...
But I ruined it again with the porn.. She never forgave me for it.. It hasnt been an issue inmy life for well over a year..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
