Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers House for sale. So sad. Family breaking apart.pt 4

I'll echo this. To me, "becoming the man only a fool would leave" was a measuring stick. I really wasn't ready to give up on my W until I got to that point, and I don't think I could have dated with a clear conscious until I was there and the ink was dry. With that said, I think it's a personal choice...just make sure you are being honest with yourself.

I love you all for your honesty, straightforward thoughts and candour....keep it coming. This is definitely casual and will not involve the kids at all. I spoke at length about this with my therapist recently and she said it is nice to get out and feel special with someone, and others if need be. But she definitely echoes not involving the kids and watching my heart and hers. She coached me quite a bit on this. This counsellor is well renowned in these parts (I went for the best). I started seeing her 2 years ago when A first was exposed. The counsellor is a very special person and trust her opinion. So do the courts in these parts apparently.
I honestly have done all the hard work, and that was the problem. The counsellor hugged me and told me how proud she is of me. The ink isn't dry but the damage that was done and and xW's inability to get help for her own issues and her denial have led to more issues and unnecessary litigation. Separate ways is best answer for now as sad as that is. She won't work to be amicable or even coparent right now. She is out to destroy me in all ways for some reason. Well, she is not going to. I am who I am...the same guy she loved so much for so long...at least she claimed to.

Hey Ruby...when is Boston? What's up? BTW....Go Leafs Go!

How you doing Floyd?

Hey BD,
The litigation is as nasty as it can be. My L and I are taking the high road. He says the courts are more favourable on those that do especially when trying to deal with custody and coparenting. They are making fools of themselves in not looking out for their best intersts of the children and only self serving It is a loooong and expensive path. So bizarre, she sends me an email telling me off and telling me what to do and then calls me a bully in the same email. She cc'd her lawyer on it. Still am lost on the anger in her....she is getting what she wants, a D. For someone that wanted a quick, easy D she sure does not act like it.
I am going out with my lady friend again tonight. Was with her all last evening for dinner etc....kids are away so it's nice to have the company. She is expressing feelings for me. We talked about that and she gets where I am at with all this and says she will take the time and let me deal with matters over the next several months. She is attracted to the dad and person I am she says. She is outstandingly beautiful and much younger....I don't get it. she has more money than I, makes more too. wtf? Am I too hard on myself?

How are you BD et al?

Snort...you are too hard on yourself....just be careful.. If she is really cool and wonderful, you don't want her to be your emotional support or rebound chick do ya?

Go sloooowwwww.... Really, maybe until D is settled and you find out who you really want to be? Who you are? I guarantee you, you are not there yet. that being said, I understand the need for the validation, I do

Hey Ruby, how are ya? I always love and appreciate your input....you help me a lot. Definitely need to take it slow. I know who I am....I am the same guy I always was....just have to dust off dirt and get back to me, so you are right in that I am not fully there yet.

Good for you taking the high road.

What do you like about the woman you're dating? Do you share common interests?

Great question! We have some, and enough differences to pique each others interests in learning about each other that is fascinating....Backgrounds etc. She is ladylike ( I dont mean that in a sexist sense, just thatbshe carries herself well and takes care of herself in a very feminine way). She is driven yet has sensitivity and conscience. She is extremely intelligent in a conceptually way. We can have intellectual converstations that I am not used to and miss. That is not to knock my ex, she is smart in other ways, just not in depth. This lady is very quick witted and has a great laugh...I guess I have tickled hoer funny bone which also tells myself that I am getting back to my old self again. She appreciates me as a good man and father. She likes art and literature and poetry and lyrics that are thought provoking. She loves film....and not movies. She appreciates more thought provoking films and not just slapstick or 'chick flicks' as she says. I am a Christian....Roman Catholic and she appreciates my faith and wants to know more about it. She is Persian and Muslim, very modernized and I appreciate her Persian and historical culture. I am familiar with it. I love my Canadian history of 7 generations and she is fascinated with learning more about that. She likes the outdoors, lakes, cottages, etc. I like to fish and she wants to learn. She likes bike riding and wants to do lots with me. She loves my dog. I know that is a lot and there is more. I still need to take it slow and perhaps over time date some more people but I have my babies to look after and life changes to incorporate and deal with the litigation at hand. She knows all this and have been honest about it. She has her things to deal with too.