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Hi people. I found this nice guy, bvargas, lost in Newcomers and I have run out of ideas. Would any of you please give him a look in and see what you can do to help? He sounds as if he could benefit for some basics in reef life... here's the thread

ooh... how about pot roast or beef stew... something manly that a guy wouldn't cook... ok he might, but it would be tough as a boot (yes, I KNOW some of you are good cooks), but easy to transport and definitely a comfort food.

It was a close call on fish sobriety tonight... I'll tell now while I'm still a little pissed.

Mr. Wonderful called me from his office when I was on cell and on my way home. He was finally returning the call I had put into him early this morning (wanting to know how both the girls were feeling, thanking him for doing dishes so I could run errands with my cousin, etc.).

He throws out the following curve ball... "Bets, remember I have the bowling tournament on Sunday and you agreed to take the girls really early."

WHAT?????

My real answer, "Huh? What bowling tournament?"

It gets better...

MW: "Well, I asked you if it was okay the other night."

Me: "????? What? When did we have this conversation?"

MW: "The night I got back from LA."

Oh, THAT night. Was that the night that you nonchalantly informed me of your sudden move? Was that the mindless chatter you initiated, speaking at the speed of light and in an unintelligible mutter?

You a*hole. You sprung a litany of crap in about 10 seconds after you dropped me a mind blowing bomb. What other surprises was I supposed to hear?

Me: "Wow, I really am having a senior moment or I didn't realize what Sunday you were talking about."

MW: (In a sort of snotty tone) "Well, Bets, what Sunday did you THINK I was talking about?"

Well, since we all know that you abhor advanced planning, I must be extremely stupid.

Me: "Sorry"

MW: "That's OK. If it isn't okay with you, can you tell me now so I can get a sub?"

Me: "No, that's fine. What time were you thinking about bringing them home?"

MW: "Uh, about 7:30."

Before coffee? Why do these bowling and golf tournaments always seem to fall on the days he's supposed to have the girls?

Me: "OK. I have to go now because I'm home and I need to explain to Tia why I'm 10 minutes late."

MW: "See ya later."

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH.

So my plans are once again thwarted. No Meals on Wheels. But I'm thinking about making one of his fave chicken casseroles and having it all ready to go when he brings the girls home. It will definitely keep in the car.

I know there's a law about poisoning his food. Short of a pipe bomb in his mailbox, what now? He is really testing my sobriety...

Anchor, Chum, you don't have to worry about INTERVENTION! but it was certainly tempting...

Bruce…Anchor here…

I knew there was no need for INTERVENTION!! You handled it beautifully.

By 7:30, you meant AM??? Good grief, who goes bowling at that hour? He must be a very dedicated bowler! And a very horrible (not to mention typical) plan maker.

But, I think it all ties back to what we saw when he first told you. He was petrified to break the news. He expected a KABOOM and probably in his rabbit-scurrying fear he threw out the bowling thing knowing that it had to be said and probably figured that would light the fuse to a bomb also. Then he ran like hell and turned around a few times in surprise that nothing had actually blown up.

He’s on edge…he’s nervous as hell. Picture him holing up in his rabbit hole (rabbits do live in holes, right? If not, substitute the right word…den, borough, whatever) picturing a wolf standing at the entrance. He’s so scared that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He seems to KNOW the wolf is there, yet when he actually peeks out he doesn’t see one. We can only ASSume that he thinks the wolf is trying to trick him and therefore he’s got his little fuzzy guard up big time. He’s coming off as a big A-hole because he knows he lit a fuse in the wolf’s home (I don’t know what they live in either) and he can’t for the life of him figure out why nothing exploded (not to mention when it will) and where the wolf is hiding – waiting to turn him into rabbit stew. Which, brings me to my next point…

I think you should bring him rabbit stew for dinner! Very symbolic…either that, or fish and chips!

Seriously, the chicken casserole idea sounds fabulous. His appreciation will give you good cause to put your ‘dinner at the apartment’ mission into play NEXT weekend!

GO YOU BRUCE!

No intervention needed! You, Betsey, are developing the patience of....Pattie!
Good idea on the casserole. It is a nice little "toe in the water" step.
And, is this for real? 7:30 a.m???
Isn't bowling just an excuse to drink beer? Who does that in the morning???


You know, I say let's take a vacation from this mess! No more goals, no more planning things for the benefit of the H's. Let's just start planning that road trip instead. It will put our brilliant minds to better use.

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Let's just start planning that road trip instead. It will put our brilliant minds to better use.

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SECOND!

bruce

nemo here - just wanted to tell you that you should be damn proud of yourself, you handled things WELL

i for one am entirely jealous that you get to spend some time tonight with fellow db'rs and have a good time - and listen bruce

HAVE A GOOD TIME

Anchor, Chum, Kitti and anyone else who lurks in my ocean,

Well, this is a GO ME! day! I had to bring a fish friend to the meeting today.... so please welcome Mr. Wonderful. Do we really need to welcome him? After all, he IS an enemy in our camp... how about we just acknowledge that he showed up?

I'm still fish sober. After last night's post, I was very tempted to eat some fish, but I invoked the Underdog Overnight Rule. And guess what? I felt like addressing this with him this morning. So after I dropped D9 off at school, I plugged in my earphone to the cell and called the new office of Mr. Wonderful.

He picked up (thank goodness--I was not thrilled about leaving a message for him to call me back). I asked him if he had 5 minutes to discuss important R stuff. He said yes.

I started the convo by first thanking him for picking up the house yesterday morning and making my bed. He snickered and said, "Well, after having your sick cousin here a week (who has bronchitis, BTW, and is at my mom's house being nursed back into health) and crap strewn all over, I figured that you would appreciate coming home to some order."

I said, "Yes, I do appreciate it very much. I do notice these things, and although I gave credit to D9, she told me she hadn't done a thing. Then I knew it was you. And I want to begin this convo by telling you that I very much appreciate your efforts to make me happy."

MW: "You're welcome."

I told him that the next part of our convo was going to be along the lines of what our MC taught us, and I was going first. Only I didn't just ask questions. He promised to listen only.

I said, "K, I realized when we were talking yesterday that you told me about the bowling tournament directly after you broke the news about the move."

MW: (Soberly and seemingly apologetic) I know. I'm really sorry about that, Bets. I knew I had done that and I apologize for it."

I proceeded... "I would have much rather you broken the big news to me in person. But since that did not happen, would you please make a point of separating conversations where you know there is a big message that will drown anything else you might say? I'm a little unhappy that I was caught off guard by that method."

MW: (Again, somber) "I know. I agree that how I did that stunk."

I said, "and as long as we're on this subject, I also figured out 2 weeks ago that you have been trying to tell me about the move, but for whatever reason, kept chickening out. K, can you remember the last time I got angry with you for decisions that you have made?"

MW: "Um, no. You've been really great about that for a really long time now." I'm glad you admitted this! GO ME!

Me: "Well, I would like to ask you to stop anticipating what I might be feeling and please be honest with me. I know you've told me in the past that you are afraid of hurting me (how I expressed that hurt really bothered him). But you are not responsible for my feelings, nor am I responsible for yours."

MW: "I know, you're right."

Me: "And I want to tell you that I'm not mad about your moving. I appreciate the fact that you want a bigger space. I know D9 has been a little unhappy with the living arrangements over there, and I want to thank you for trying to accommodate everybody's feelings. Nobody said you need to be uncomfortable while you sort things out."

MW: (I think a little stunned) "Bets, I wanted to tell you about this earlier. You're right. The guy who lives above me is really noisy and annoying. Plus he smokes and flicks his cigarette butts over the balcony, landing on mine and I'm sick of cleaning them up. I've asked him a few times not to do that, and he just grunts at me.

Plus this new place is sunnier, bigger and it came available at a price that is only a little more than what I'm paying right now."

Me: "K, it's fine, really. Time to signal the end of this convo for me. Is there anything else I need to know about this?"

MW: "No, not really. But I do want to tell you that nothing has really changed. I'm still trying to figure stuff out."

Me: "Thanks."

Then I had to start another convo about the golf tournament and how we need to get hopping. He agreed to call me later this morning to get some information so he can get moving. I told him how things had to happen (and fast), why it was so and what this means for both of us.

Since I've done the tournament for the past 4 years, I'm having to train my fish friend. I really DON'T want to organize this anymore, so I don't mind spending some time teaching him how to plan this thing.

Yes, I will make chicken casserole and meat loaf (and divide the casserole in half because it makes a lot), cheesy potato casserole and spinach/strawberry salad with poppy seed dressing. I really DO miss cooking for him. The girls don't appreciate anything that isn't in the family of mac & cheese...

And I will have it all wrapped up and ready to go when he drops the girls off before his blasted bowling tournament.

I guess he'll be drinking bloody mary's? Pamela, they start at around 9 am (and it's up in Loveland) and then eliminate players like they do on TV. I don't know when he's scheduled to start, but I gather on the early side.

Back when we were dating, he used to make some decent "date money" for us by entering them...

OK, a flying road trip? Where? Mall of America?

Bruce

Kitti,

Thanks. I can definitely use a beer tonight. Brian and I will probably enjoy ourselves... and it will be our first time meeting Beren.

Oh, BTW, here is my horoscope for today (which I read after I got to work):

Don’t suppress your desire to make the remarks that are needed in the current circumstances. This will significantly improve your ties to someone whose opinion will help a lot. People will pay heed to your sensible comments.

HA!

Welcome Mr. Wonderful! I'm glad to see that you are learning to trust your shark friend...

Bruce!!! GO YOU!!! !

You have much to be proud of. You have everything out in the open now and I'm sure your PMA is skyrocketing! You even knew when to quit before you got too hungry (you can quit squirming over there Mr. W...no one will eat you today). GO GO GO GO YOU!!!!!

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OK, a flying road trip? Where? Mall of America?

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Are we flying now? No more Themla/Louise to Devner? That works for me, but poor Pam hates shopping. Since we're all icicles…I’m proposing somewhere warm.