Divorcebusting.com

I'm very fortunate to have this board to vent on. Just allowing myself to get my thoughts out & have all of you tell me how to handle my emotions is awesome. Thanks adinva.

I think I'm calming down finally today. No OW thoughts, no H telling OW about pregnancy thoughts, no more mind racing really since my post at lunch.

I am still a little anxious for this evening. Today is the first day in a while that H & I haven't at least text once back & forth about something. Typically by this time we have talked about dinner or the girls schedule for the evening.

Just keep the focus on YOU in_it. All on you and your own schedule with the kids. It suxx but you can do it. xxx

Hey In it, I know this is so hard.

Just a couple of things, if it's ok.

Going dark is something you do for you. It should never be used to get a reaction from your spouse or as a tactic because it will backfire.

Having said that, it really is important for you to do what is best for you without regard to what you h might say or feel.

In it, it doesnt serve you well to worry about whether ow knows or not. Who cares about her? She is nothing but a bandaid.

You just keep putting the focus on you and your children and your baby. Let him and her blow in the wind right now.

In it, have you thought at all about me and Cat's earlier posts to you?

Are there things about you that you would like to work on or change?

Yes, I have thought about your posts, often. I have written some in my personal journal regarding them & will post it soon. I'm thinking this week when H is out of town & I have plenty of free-time on my hands.

And yes again…there are things I would like to continue to work on & change. One of them being the fact that I am so enclosed. I need to open up more in the relationships in my life. In one way I think it's helped me with my sitch and being able to endure so much, but I also feel like in need to let more people that are close to me in my life in more. I don't mean regarding my sitch (I don't want people knowing that right now) I mean in personal relationships.

It took me a long time to even post here after reading the sight for well over a month.

I completely understand what you are saying.I am the same way. That is something that I have been working on for a long time.

I have always had a kind of wall built around me. I know that it's because of my childhood. But it was up there good and high.

And slowly, I have been chipping away at it. Still have a long way to go, always a work in progress.

What are some ways that you could change this for you?

Also, by going dark I meant just not engage in anything really today. Probably not the best choice of words. I wasn't looking for a reaction from H, I just didn't feel communicating waking up feeling the way I did. Today was a bad day for me. Don't really know why, but it was.

You know what I think I need? I need to release some of everything that is built up inside me. I think I need a really good cry. I don't remember the last time I let it all out?

You are dealing with some hard stuff, sweetie.

I like a good cry every now and then. I like going into my car and screaming, punching a pillow, taking a brisk walk.

Anything that gets the tension out is a good thing.

You really are doing wonderfully.

Thanks uRworthy. One thing I've been doing is having dinner with my girlfriends every couple of weeks during the week. This is a big branch out for me. I would have never done this on a week night during the past.

Good for you, In it. I still struggle with it at times.

I try real hard to reach out and let someone in. Some days it works, some days it doesnt. But that is always the goal.

And I know when something like this happens, your instinct is to pull back. But, this is when it really is important to reach out instead.

Gotta agree with uRw on this one: let it out and let others in for sure. It's logical that you will feel things swelling up inside you, because you don't have that outlet that you used to have to talk about your feelings with your partner. People get (pardon the expression) emotionally constipated. There's more room outside than in so by reaching out to friends you're feelings can be validated and you then have the ability to move forward!