Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis The long and winding road

T, I get it...as much as I read about MLC I still don't fully "get it".

Here's the email I found lol

Subject: weekend todo list.

Wash my car.
Go to the bank.
Tell Hobag I love her.
Fix the toilet.
Look at the pictures Hobag sent again.
Make the kids lunches (he never did this btw)
Tell Hobag I love her some more.

The list went on and on, she dumped him a month later when her fiancé found out...soul mates huh? Then he moved onto even bigger Hobag No.2 lol

T,
He must have read the "script" of the great love affair of the last 30 years...Charles and Camilla. LOL! Geesh, talk about childish! The notes the two teens write to each are very childish, but yet, enlightening as to where they are in their past lives.

Of course, you are the mature adult and yes, your love for your h runs far deeper than that of the ow. They will outgrow each other in time.

My xh's wife (then ow) when asked by me as to what she saw in him, her comment was "he's a nice man". My comment was "nice people don't do sh@tty things to others. Of course, I got a standing ovation from the patients in the cardiac unit of the hospital when I confronted her and told her about herself and him. LOL!

You'll get the change one day to ask him about each one, but the question will be...will he be able to remember what she wrote to him and why.

Enjoy your day!

TVS, I love your sense of humor and your ability to look at this from such a detached view. I feel stressed by my sitch and can't imagine what you have gone through.

Being a Wisconsin boy, I will bring the beer to the parade!

CB

Caigy - that is so corny and ridiculous!!! Gag!!!

Maybe you should have your own list...

Do laundry
Make fun of ho bag
Do dishes
Ignore alien H
Vacuum
Be glad I'm not either one of them

I mean seriously!!!!

Snodderly, I guess if I am truthful with myself, I question H's love for me.

I can see their R for the shallow band- aid that it is, but for now, it's certainly more of a R than I have with my H.

I can also see how easy it would be for the MLCer to avoid feeling the embarrassment and shame connected to the A by keeping it going. They could just keep telling themselves "Look at the great person I've found!" even when they know it's not true.

I do love the story about you confronting the OW at her work - talk about a reality check for her!!!

I heard recently that another employee asked my friend why OW was always around my H, and how did I feel about that? Hmmm...

CB- feeling stressed is normal for this abnormal situation. Some days I am better at detaching than others, but it does get better with time.

Keep up your sense of humor, it really does carry us through!

Hey, bring beer, cheese, and whatever else to the parade - the more the merrier!

Hang in there

The best part of Caigy's list is when I read it, I thought her husband did refer to ow as hobag. That would have been awesome! . It's pretty sad if he needed to remind himself to express love to her. My H's brain is so fried though I understand. He was getting annoyed at himself for telling me not to do something, that he would do it, then forgetting over and over again to do it. And I would never remind him either.

T I thought about you a lot these last two weeks. You sure are a trooper to live with your H in full awareness of his antics, and turning a blind eye to him. I admire you a lot for being able to do that and keep such a positive attitude.

Thanks Raine, you are sweet

I think of you often too, don't know how you do it with a newborn - simply amazing!

So...

H in full-fledged a$$hole mode, don't know what the hell is going on.

I had a meeting after work, so this morning I told H he was in charge of dinner tonight.

I stopped at the grocery store after my meeting, and texted him to see if I needed to pick up anything for dinner (I was starving!)

He texted back no, he and the boys had pizza for dinner.

So I get home, and lo and behold - no pizza. They ate out.

I simply heated up some leftovers for me to eat. He comes into the kitchen after awhile and tells me he didn't get me anything to eat because I told him he was on his own for dinner so he thought I was too. I say, I said you were in charge of dinner, but no big deal. He says, I know it's not a big deal, I'm just telling you what happened.

I think he is totally full of sh!t.

I guess it is possible that this wasn't intentional, but I believe it was. He hasn't done anything like this this whole time. My guess is that he's in a pissy mood about his own stuff plus is not happy with me moving on with my life.

So I'm venting here, but keeping a big smile on my face. Upstairs folding towels now, can't even stand to look at him.

I hear you now Snodderly, telling me to dig deeper for patience!

Don't worry, I got this

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ I Soooo agree!!!

I'm sure you are picking up on some deceit about dinner. My H got frustrated time and time again, b/c I know him so well.

Your H just wants to try to confuse you at this point, b/c he can't find any deceit in you. He wants to make you look bad. And that's is just not possible.

You're a queen. And if he refuses to treat you like one, one day somebody else will be delighted to have that privilege.

But for now, you're standing strong....not for him who he is now, but for who he was and who he could be...if he decides to live life to the fullest once again, instead of being satisfied with an empty shell of a man.

Ah, T, I forgot about making clothes for the cell phone. I have to say that was fun! LOL!

As for your h, I agree, it was probably intentional. As in, stamping his feet - she is moving on with her life - well, I will show her.

I think there is big trouble in paradise. Between that and you being your wonderful self, he is feeling the squeeze.

I think you are going to be seeing more of this kind of thing as he tries to deal with his life.

You keep doing what you're doing.

I know where we can get some cheese . Heh, heh, heh...

I made it to bedtime, yippee!!!!

You know how when a child is acting up and you aren't paying any attention, so they up the ante just a bit to see if you'll react? Yeah, that's pretty much my H!

~UW, I know now to be on guard for this type of antic. Whether its wanting my attention, or reaction, or as a distraction, who the hell knows?!?! Whatever the reason - or lack of - I'm not falling for it.

Looks like he won't be listening to "Two Tickets to Paradise" anytime soon lol! I agree, I get the feeling trouble is definitely brewing.

~Thanks rH for reminding me of my queen status, though sometimes I feel like the fool for putting up with H.

I needed the reminder about standing for who he was and who he could become. I do still believe in him. And us.

I really don't care for this imposter though. Not at all.

~WH, I thought of you when I typed the cheese comment earlier!

I've been following your sitch, LOVE all your karma references. I too am definitely rolling out the welcome wagon for her!

Is it too much to hope that the OW gets fat (or should I say fatter), have excessive body hair, and even worse fashion sense? I didn't think so.

You asked in your one post - who does your H he think he is? Ummm, that implies that he can even think. He's a total dolt. You are a saint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So old hubs tried making small talk with me this evening. I think he felt bad about leaving me high and dry for dinner - not that he would say that lol!

He even came up to the bathroom to ask me a question while I was in the shower - which he typically doesn't do since I am NAKED in there - gasp!!! Can't risk seeing any of my stuff lol!!! Anyway, it was something that could have waited 5 minutes till I was done. Whatever.

When saying goodnight, he tells me he hopes I get a good night's sleep, and I said I hope he did too. He says he hopes he gets any sleep since he was up till 3:00 am last night. I know he was up late the night before too.

It must svck to have guilt eat away at you. Big time.

No guilt for this girl though, so it's sweet dreams for me!

Have a great night everyone