Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Help! Patience is tough

Cadet, I fully agree with you about most LBS have moved on. While most of us here on the forum seriously hope their other halves come back and to reconcile, by that time, we probably have moved on and no longer have the same love or want of the partner anymore. Only so much crap you can take.

I have to admit, yesterday when me and my WAW interacted it was the first time and moved from the sad stage of depression to the anger stage. As I tried to talk to her and be nice and cordial, all she had in response was bitterness and attitude. For the first time I though "who the hell does she think she is to treat me like this" and "I am better than this, have pride and refuse to be a doormat" . I am so glad I came to these emotions because it has helped with my detachment. Although I want more than anything for her to realize my changes and recommitment to her. At this point I refuse to be walked on and treated as if this is ALL my fault. She clearly has not dealt with her issues, therefore even if we did come together for reconciliation, she is not ready and nor am I.

It is funny how things work themselves out. Still praying she sees the light but prepared to move on........

Can use some advice. I have received my wife's wedding gift in the mail. I purchased her for our wedding a gift to the country music festival in Nashville. The tickets just came in and obviously we are currently separated and on the verge of divorce. I am struggling financially because of the split and I am debating on whether I should still give her the tickets since they were a gift for her originally or since we are no longer "together" and I am struggling financially, should I sell them without even notifying her that I have recieved them. She know that they were coming in around this time and the trip "was" scheduled for June.


More of the same behavior for me would be to still give her the tickets because of the type of guy I am. I feel like I should still give them to her because they were a gift to her but I also feel like if I do she will just look at it as more of the same behavior and trying to manipulate her and make her feel guilty of her decisions divorce.

Do U guys think this would be a perfect time to do a 180 and not give her the tickets. Focus on me and financial situation. I mean she did make the decision to divorce and knew our trip was coming about. So honestly, would she even care if I sold them?

Any info here would be helpful

I'm curious what you mean by that, what type of guy do you see yourself as? Because this is what you posted in your OP:

"She filed for divorce because she said I was disrespectful and unappreciative."

If she sees you this way, then giving her the tickets might be a 180 for you. Perhaps you just give them to her and say "I understand our R is over, but I had previously ordered these for you and I still wanted to give them to you just to show how much I appreciate you and the time we had together." If you do something like this, just remember to give with ZERO expectations.

By the way, I assume you mean just give her the tickets without any intent on the two of you going together, correct?

Anotherstander,

I can see why you were confused from my other post. By disrespectful i mean when we argue i can get nasty. And by unappreciative that his her feeling towards me because she feels i do not show it enough. However, I am a very caring ang giving guy. I do have a heart just a anger problem. I do like you answer on regards to giving her the tickets and honestly that is what I was leaning towards doing. I do love her of course and I did buy them for her. I would like her to have them with no expectations. And yes, if i chose this route I would not ask to go with her, i would tell her she deserves the time away and to take a friend. What do you think??

Help! So my wife just initiated contact to me for the first time in GOD KNOWS HOW LONG! She contacted me because we still have a joint checking account. The joint account is currently -125 due to her mistakes in budgeting. The only transactions that are made by me are two auto deducts. One for life insurance and one for a teaching website. My deductions came out of the account well before the account went into the negative due to 2 overdraft fees.

So that is the background, in the email she sent she stated what our divorce decree says and it says that I have to close the checking account and am in charge of doing so. So my wife has asked me to contribute half of the funds to get the account back to zero balance so it can be closed.

Need advice so my questions to you all is.....

What or of anything should I make of this contact? Considering its the first time in months that she has initiated.

Should I use the 48 hour rule before I respond?

How should I word my email response that shows I am perfectly okay with the situation and am moving on?

Thank you in advance for any and all responses.

Sounds crazy, and I know I am prob reading into it too much, but felt good to get a initiated email from her! Even though is was about closing accounts and closure on her part.

Send her a check for $62. Cancel or transfer your auto-deductions to another ccount. Text her that the check is in the mail, ask her to close the account after she pays the balance and clarify that you are no longer using the account and will not make any future payments.

$62 is too small an amount to add any more drama to your life. just be done with it. I wouldn't make anything of it and Keep the text purely to business.

RockJC,

Thank you for the response. The only problem with mailing her the check and having her close it out is the divorce decree states I am responsible for closing the account. So should I just add the 62 bucks and go close the account without responding to her email at all? Would that be considered staying dark and mysterious? Then after I close it just confirm to her that it is all done?

Help! So my wife just initiated contact to me for the first time in GOD KNOWS HOW LONG! She contacted me because we still have a joint checking account. The joint account is currently -125 due to her mistakes in budgeting. The only transactions that are made by me are two auto deducts. One for life insurance and one for a teaching website. My deductions came out of the account well before the account went into the negative due to 2 overdraft fees.

So that is the background, in the email she sent she stated what our divorce decree says and it says that I have to close the checking account and am in charge of doing so. So my wife has asked me to contribute half of the funds to get the account back to zero balance so it can be closed.

Need advice so my questions to you all is.....

What or of anything should I make of this contact? Considering its the first time in months that she has initiated.

Should I use the 48 hour rule before I respond?

How should I word my email response that shows I am perfectly okay with the situation and am moving on?

Thank you in advance for any and all responses.

Sounds crazy, and I know I am prob reading into it too much, but felt good to get a initiated email from her! Even though is was about closing accounts and closure on her part.

If you are required to close the account, then I would pay the $125 and close the account. Send her a text telling her it is closed and ask her to send you a check for whatever amount she owes. Hopefully she will pay what you ask for. If not, just move on and put this issue behind you. it is not enough money to worry over.