My friend, your h is an as@. Oops, did I say that out loud? My bad. LOL!
I think life is not going as he planned and there is a bit of trouble in paradise. So, you are the whipping post.
He's lucky you tell him any plans you have.
Good for you for not rising to the bait and telling him when he didnt let you know. He would have turned that around, too.
It is succking to be him more and more. Poor baby. I almost feel sorry for him. Not! LOL!
Seriously, though, it is best to try to keep saying to yourself - "He's in crisis, he's in crisis" or the cuckoo is out of the clock, the cuckoo is out of the clock". Either one works.
You just keep going and let this play out. Methinks the steam is running out.
Pull up that lawn chair. Pull one up for me. What are we drinking?
I have to agree w/the ladies...life is not turning out the way your h thought it would. He's projecting on to you what he should be doing and yet, he turns it around to say that you are not keeping him informed of your schedule. Unfortunately, he didn't get the memo...you don't work for him! LOL!
It's all about control and because he has no control in his own life, he's trying to control the simpliest things that you do. I also think he's trying to find a way to push your buttons and you aren't giving him any justification for why he's behaving the way he is. I would continue doing just as you have and let him stew in his own juices in that pot called mlc.
Defintely pull up a chair and watch this parade whizz by.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you rH, UW, and Snodderly - you guys are the best
Well I'm afraid H's mood did not improve this morning. I heard him moving around downstairs around 1:00 am, so I'm guessing he didn't sleep well.
He barely said two words to me this morning, and I don't even care lol!
I'm not sure of the date, but I believe OW's anniversary is a day this week, and I'm sure that will stir up some drama with the lovebirds!
Last night when he kept going on and on about me being secretive, I said to him, "Why would I be secretive about having a friend and her children over? " He didn't have an answer to that one.
Then again, when you carry around the mountain of secrets that he does, I guess it can get pretty tiring. Not my problem.
I've pulled up some stadium chairs that have the cup holders in them so we have somewhere to put our drinks. I'm thinking stoli vanilla and coke for this part of the parade - I want something good to go with this entertainment!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
I know it's a hard lesson to learn that you can't control others. I feel like H and OW actually try to control each other the most through their conniving and manipulations.
Yes, it must svck to be them!
H at a work function tonight, and I know OW will be there too. Wonder if they will be able to get through without continually texting lol!
At a park now with the boys. It's a beautiful day and I am enjoying the weather, my children, and a feeling of contentment. We packed a picnic for dinner, and who knows, I just may have to stop for some ice cream too
Your
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Whaddaya mean might have to stop for ice cream? That's crazy talk! LOL!
Ah, T, I am so glad that you are feeling content. You know that this thing with the two of them is a farce. I mean, really, how can two totally messed up, married, adolescents ever hope to find everlasting love together? I mean, come on.
I remember I once found this poem that the ow sent to my xh. Mind you, she knew him from all those years ago. Anyway, there was no way he would have appreciated it.
He and I have discussions from time to time about the past. And one time I asked him about the poem. You know, in my uRw way .
Me: let me ask you something. You know the poem I found by mistake years ago? The one about the flowers and the bees and all.
He: yes. what about it?
Me: Um, you liked it?
He: What do you think? I mean, really uR.
Me: Yea, I knew it. Just had to hear it out loud. LOL!
He: Yea, well, I imagined you had a good laugh about it when all was said and done. I pictured you sitting on the floor reading it and howling.
Wow, sounds like the poem the OW wrote your H was real Shakespeare like stuff - NOT!!!! I mean flowers and bees? Hey, let's throw in a little sunshine and butterflies too, just for good measure lol!
I can picture you, sitting on the floor, reading that poem, rolling your eyes, and laughing your a$$ off
I know in my heart that H and OW will not work out long-term, it just baffles me that it has lasted as long as it has. They are truly the blind leading the blind!
H came home tonight not in the cheeriest of moods again. Came upstairs to change, but didn't really talk to me. Didn't ask me how my evening was or how the boys were. I just pleasantly kept watching last week's survivor I was trying to catch up on.
I feel like he keeps trying to do the pursuit/distance cha cha, and is starting to realize he doesn't have a partner. Oh well!
And here's just another thought I'm throwing out there...
A year ago (and longer), he had two woman swooning over him. Now I'm guessing she has gone from adoration to neediness and pressure, and I just don't pay attention to him most of the time.
No, I don't think this is how he envisioned this going down. At all.
Oh well. Not my problem.
Goodnight
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
I will say that I found that poem early on in this whole journey. And when I first saw it was a love poem from her, my feelings were still very raw. I didnt know if I could handle reading it.
I was sitting on the floor when I found it. I was looking for a file. I gritted my teeth and read it. And then T, I did laugh my as# off.
Yes, it had flowers and bees. I kid you not. And his ow was an extremely smart woman.
Me being me, I wrote a poem to him. This was long after they had ended.
I wish I knew where it was. Needless to say, it included flowers and bees. Yes, it did.
You crack me up UW! Making clothes for the cell phone, writing poems that mock their teenage thinking, keeping the humor alive through all your H's instantly - love it.
You are right Caigy, I often wonder what happened to my H's brain (he was always a pretty smart guy) and then I'm reminded that it turned to jello! Or scrambled eggs.
Let me explain my experience in finding OW's love note to my H.
This was about two months after bomb. I knew, just knew there was something going on. I wanted proof. Sound familiar everyone???
So I snooped, and found a picture of the two of them. It wasn't x rated or anything, just the two of them cheek to cheek at a park somewhere.
It made me go through the f-ing roof.
With the picture was a typed, unsigned love note.
That also made me go through the f-ing roof.
Now, my H's birthday was about a week away. I had been working on a note to put in his card with reasons why I love him.
I know, I know, I can hear all the gasps and groans now. This was still very early on, I hadn't yet found the DB path. TVS was still waiting to be born
Anyway...
Here's a brief comparison of the two notes...
OW's list on why she loves him: I love that you dress for me, I love that you do push-ups for me, I love that you're jealous for me, I love that you want me all to yourself, I love that you told me you like movies - maybe we can go see one together one day. (There was more, I'm not going to bother, you get the picture)
My list on why I love H: that he is good to our parents, that he was a great father who even gave baths and changed diapers, that he shared my sorrow when our baby died, that he shared my joy when our boys were born. (Again, there was more, but you get the picture)
Now which one of those notes seems like it was written by an adult? I think we all know the answer to that one!
Someday, I hope to get the chance to ask him about each one. We will see.
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
.