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Still trying to figure out how to handle all this?

As long as your W is in denial about OM and is proceeding with the D, what is it that you need to do? You can not change the track she is on. She needs to derail that train herself.

All you can do is sit back and let things run their course. It is your choice to hang around and watch the train
wreck and help pick up the pieces or not. Only you can make the decision if that is what is best for you.

I know, from my own perspective, how frustrating it can be to try and remain calm while someone I love is seemingly oblivious to the truth as I perceive it and hellbent on continuing down a self-destructive path.

Her telling you to go get a girlfriend is something I find amusing from the POV that it is likely to ease her sense of guilt or trying to justify her having an OM herself. Just my opinion... a conjecture based on what you have told us.

From what you have posted it appears as if she has detached herself from the kids. What the financial state of the OM is of no concern to you. That is his problem, not yours. It doesn't seem to be an issue to her. All the financial stability that can offer seems to be of no concern to her. She has her rose colored blinders on. She has to remove those herself... you can not snatch them from her face.

Hang tough, brother... Take a deep breath.

Wow, Mr CAS. You hit the nail on the head with everything!

Thanks for your feedback!!

Have you thought about talking to your pastor or a C about why you were emotional abusive in the M? You can't go back into a R doing that again. DBing is about improving yourself, and it seems that would be a good start.

I did go to individual C for about 9 months after BD#1. I am Going to work on myself so i don't take these traits to my next R. I think part of my problem was never feeling appreciated for what I did for her which built resent and we could never get out of that cycle at times. I have been going to church regularly but have not talked to anyone there about my sitchuation

No contact at all since Friday, only been a few days. But is probably almost the longest we've gone. Had real bad anxiety yesterday for some reason.

Pretty crazy how you can spend so much time and energy in a M for them to just runaway and not look back.

Welp only communication has been about the propert settlement agreement. My lawyer can't get to it for a few weeks, so she gonna have her lawyer draft it now. I don't know what's the big hurry. We still have to wait for a cool off period of 90 days.

Wish I could figure her reasoning out. I actually feel bad for her. Talked to therapist and they said cause of her upbringing and her enmesh meant with the mother I never stood a chance.