W is happy, not so picky and irritated and is much more pleasant towards me. I can't work out whether this is because she is going away for a trip in a few weeks time or if its my DBing that is making her more relaxed.
She did bring up the subject of vacation, which i was relieved about (and a baby step target of mine). This was a few days ago now, but has not mentioned it again, and I am kind of holding off until she mentions it again so it does not look like i am needy - fact is where vacation is concerned I am very needy - i need of a nice beach!
There is still talk of moving out, new house etc. But less of it at the moment. This is since she got stressed out and had a panic attack about how she is going to get to where she wants to be, and i managed to validate that one successfully-ish. This was mainly her bombarding me with questions and accusations, followed by a proper apology from W. Which was quite nice to hear.
We have also sat close to each other, and she no longer physically pulls away from me if we are touching each other (ie my arm against hers, nothing more than that, and other than the odd touch on the arm or shoulder I am not even going there!). She has also said a few things that are not really consistent with the who D and moving out talk. Only tiny comments, either she is not thinking when she says them or she is testing me? I don't know - again trying not to read into anything.
Goal wise, I am doing ok. Money I am trying to get to the bottom of, and I need to talk to W about things / budgets etc. I am having fun, I am GAL and part of this is meeting up with group of people with similar interests in a few weeks time. Also close to starting a new hobby this week, which I am excited about.
Detachment wise, not there yet, feel fine at the moment, then I think of W and OM, and then I worry about where she really is going for her trip and who with, and then I tell myself to stop being stupid and think of something new.
One scale of 1 to 10 of how I rate my sitch right now. Its moved to a 3 from what I would say was a 2 last week. So that makes me feel better.
Think thats pretty much it. Sure tomorrow will be different, hopefully better but maybe worse - who can ever tell!!
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
