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So do we need to Pay for anyone to comment, or it's just that people choose to ignore an elephant in the room. I can gladly send payments to any site or PayPal as gift for there insights. Don't mean to be offensive, I am the only one talking for so long ...

Just came across your posts, Brahmin. It's easy to feel a bit neglected on this BB, I know, especially when there's something we'd really like some feedback about. I've found that commenting on other people's threads will attract other people to my thread. That might be something to consider. Meantime, just keep posting and people will respond if they've got some tips that might help you out. Remember, in all things: patience.

That said, it sounds to me like W is definitely square in the middle of the anger phase. The best thing you can do is listen and validate. For example, when your W says "all of this is your fault", you could respond by saying, "It sounds like your angry and I'm hearing you say that I was responsible for much of your unhappiness. I never meant to make you feel that way. Can you explain to me what I did that made you feel this way?" And then you listen and validate. You let her punch herself out in a way, rope-a-dope style!

Just try to remember that she's hurt and confused right now and the best thing you can do is DETACH (W happy, you happy, W sad, you happy, W angry, you happy) and never let her bait you into an argument. She's looking for confirmation that all you guys can do is argue and you've got to deny her that.

Be patient. What are you doing about GAL and PMA?

Hang in there, Brahmin. Things will get easier if you just give it time.

" i just want her to realize what her role is and if she really owes up to her actions and choices. not sure if i should include it. i want to accept only if she honesty accepts her part

its GOT to be FAIR"

No it doesn't NEED to be fair. That's up to her. She doesn't need to own up to anything that she did. That's HER choice. You cannot control her actions any more than she can control you.

If she CHOOSES to belittle you, there's nothing you can do. Likewise, if you CHOOSE to belittle her, there's nothing she can do about that. You've chosen to be the bigger person in this case.

She will continue to talk down to you until you actually start changing AND tell her to back off. You already apologized to her for the past and are changing for the better. The next time she goes off on you again, just tell her that you understand how things were in the past and you are changing those bad behaviors to be a better man. If she continues to talk down to you, then shrug your shoulders and tell her that you're doing it for you and not for her. Then just walk off as if she didn't matter.

Wow, thanks guys, so she was the one who told me to pick son for dinner on his BD, emailed to confirm at around 12 pm , she turns 360 and says what dinner. Explained her what she said 1 wk ago, didnot get upset. Did not bother to cling or ask , oh whats up is he coming . She texts at 6 pm saying he is hungry and she is feeding. I said ok, no problem , I wished him happy bd this morning in daycare. She was again erratic in email and says I can't stoop to your level , Iam a good person and at least take him for ice cream. I said be there in 10 min , went well dressed, took him was happy. When I left him back she starts to open up had a nice talk, says she was emotionally disengaged with me 2 yrs before the S and was not able to recover. conversation went well , I was jolly and happy to spend time with son and her. Then she brings up controversial things who started the d paper work. U hired a lawyer and sent me paper, i hired and was holding on to serve her hoping she would atleast talk to me. Again blame game. In reality i served only after she sent me papers from her lawyer. Brings up lot of stuff , I said please write it in an email and we can discuss as we go through this. I said just me honest and upfront. Put all the chips on table.

My mom called and picked the call, before this conversation she told me no one was calling me talking to me, ur parents ur sister no one cares to talk to me , I just said she called to wish her grand son happy bd, if you want she can talk to u, just say hello. She refuses to saya hi . It was so obvious and she knew she was the one who has some thing inher heart and she refuses to accept and talk to . I didn't bother her or any thing, just walked out , she again claims this is what I call you being disrespectful, you choose to talk to your mom while we are having a conversation. And I was like wo, in my mind i was, so you want me to just ignore the world. I could but it was a private number and I can allow interruptions. I am not going to be so inflexible. I just walked away , she texts again,I don't need to explain any thing to any one,god know what the truth is and I will happy live knowing I am a good person and truth full person. I just did not return her text just want her to sink the reality and the events.

Just realized after talking to sister, I should have not put her on spot and given telephone to her to tlak to my mom, still don't get her at emotional state, she has this huge emotional barrier she is trying to clear, I need to give time and space

Should I text her,I don't think I should, I will just let he get back, this wknd since its mothersday she volunteered to give son to me for one day

What do you mean by she "volunteered" giving you son for the day? How often do you see him? She can't hold him to not see you.

She wants me to pick on Sat morning and drop him sun eve. This is a change from Friday eve at 6 pm. This is mothers day weekend and its as per court order that it's her week end, but she says we will share it. I see him every other weekend.
It kept me thinking and I am digging deep into me to make some core changes on my self how I deal with phone calls when I talk to her and how I communicate interruptions and bring back the hijacked conversations to norm again.

Sounds a little fishy to me. She could be doing it because she already had plans and didn't want your son to go along.

Hi all, I get an email last night 10 pm, just to confirm for a pick up at 7 pm on sat and drop off at 5 pm Sunday, just said confirmed