Get A Life....I moved into an apartment today and bought some furniture. Worked out tonight for the first time in 3 months. Cooked dinner and ate....was actually hungry.
Stop trying to small talk with her....stop lingering when I visit with the kids. Stop being fearful and self loathing in her presence. She's made me think I'm some kind of monster. Stop expecting her to be my wife when I see her. Giver her the time and space she needs without pressuring her to talk about the future and the relationship.
The big test is going to be next Tuesday when we have our 2nd joint counseling session. The counselor asked her for a plan for the next phase of the separation. She's supposed to introduce the plan at the next meeting. I feel like she's trying her hardest to frustrate me and get me to file the divorce......
How would you resolve some of the complaints she had about you? Think about this not from your M and W's perspective, rather how would you 180 those complaints as though it were with OTHER people, like co-workers, friends or family members?
Drop any expectations of her. Even though counsellor asked her to do some homework, don't expect that she will do the homework. If she does, great. It can be quite normal for the WAS / MLCer to not do therapy homework or anything else that relates to the M or D, for that matter.
Those are tough questions that I need to think about..... The GAL is the toughest.... having a hard time adjusting to the loneliness without the wife and kids..
The complaints are easy to fix with some time, patience, and better communication. Life just got so complicated with work, the kids, the house, and everything else that our marriage took a back seat. I would re-prioritize everything around our relationship.
Detachment is killing me...keep wanting to linger, talk, and get some reassurance from her.
I kind of feel like that a lot, too. It's hard to tackle our demons but also remember we're just human, too. But we must, if this is truly the road we want to travel.
Remember, she's cherry picking all the bad things looking back over your relationship.
