Oh! One more thing, EVERYONE keeps telling me that for a man to leave his wife, he has someone else in the wings waiting for him, that a man wouldn't want to just abandon his wife and be alone. Thoughts?
Me 29 H 28 M 9 T 11 No kids 2 dogs H moved in with parents 3/21/13 H wants a D 4/2/13 D Filed 4/5/13 Served 4/17/13
"I’m done being a string along. I know it’s only been 12 days but I’m his wife, not some girl he picked up at a bar and isn’t sure if he wants to be with her or not. He’s a coward and is bailing, and I’m sick of being the string along."
I agree with what everyone said. You say that you caused alot of it by pushing him away for YEARS. Sounds like you were the one stringing him along.
Continue to get help and learn some patience. It took years for you to push him to this point, it's not going to take a few weeks for it to get better.
How SPECIFICALLY have you changed?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Relax....this is a marathon. Seeing a lawyer doesn't mean anything....hell, actually divorcing doesn't even mean it's final.
There is no quick fix. It's going to take time....a lot of time. Even if you fixed all your problems today, it'd probably be 6 months before he believed it. So start working on you....the sooner you get there, the sooner he can see your changes and start believing them.
Give your H some space. I think you could use the space too...are you GAL?
Did you read my post?
Originally Posted By: Breakdown
Have you read DR? How about 5LL? 37 Rules (top of the Newcomers section)?
Then, decide what you want to work on....insecurity for sure, but what else?
A lot of what you described sounds like me...and I will tell you, insecurity bleeds into a whole bunch of other negative attributes I did not like in myself.
What did you not like about your role in your M? What were your H's complaints?
With regards to contact with your H, you need to think about how you are projecting yourself. Are you showing him a PMA? Or more negativity and anger? Which do you think is more attractive?
I know it's difficult right now. Hang in there and try to focus on you.
Yep! THATS RIGHT !! Now keep doing that, and find things that you can do for yourself.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Each day that passes the more distance I feel. I feel sick. I feel like I've lost him forever. Beginning of day 3 with no contact. Feel worse everyday.
Me 29 H 28 M 9 T 11 No kids 2 dogs H moved in with parents 3/21/13 H wants a D 4/2/13 D Filed 4/5/13 Served 4/17/13
If I do end up getting served do I contact him or just continue being dark?
First, I would stop worrying about "what ifs" and start living. Once attorneys get involved, let the attorneys deal with it.
Originally Posted By: Shiss
Each day that passes the more distance I feel. I feel sick. I feel like I've lost him forever. Beginning of day 3 with no contact. Feel worse everyday.
GAL. Right now is the hardest part....but it will get better. The sooner you start focusing on you, the faster it will get better.
