Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Bomb dropped on me last week

Ok, she texted me yesterday telling me she would like to talk face to face today (uh oh...). So I meet her at 4 this afternoon. She tells me she filed. I respond with something like this: awww, you didn't have to do that, but I completely understand. I feel so bad for you - that had to be the hardest decision of your life. I can't imagine the turmoil you must be going through. I told her I thought it was a good thing because we are finally talking now. We talked for an hour or so and I found out her biggest concern is financial. Ok... need to do a financial 180 asap.

Anyway, we went over to a friend's house and spent a couple hours together there. Upon coming home, I did a couple favors for her and she asked me to spend the night here rather than drive back to where I've been staying. I actually thought it would be a good idea for me to leave, rather than overstay my welcome, but she wants me to help her with some stuff tomorrow. I will do that, mow the yard, and then get out of here asap. Then Tuesday we have a marriage counselor appointment.

I might just be able to pull this off yet because she really wants to continue counseling. She filed the divorce, but she did not file any temporary orders for child support and we are both continuing to use our joint checking account.

You might be right about the no arguing thing not being so hot. Lack of communication is another one of her concerns.

Counseling appt. today; yesterday's got canceled because wife was sick. I stayed at the house overnight; she was fine at first but then started getting bitchy. Did a lot of work around the house yesterday and then went downstairs and played guitar later when she got mean. Wish me luck today because Im gonna need all the luck I can get.

I think it is great that you found out that both financial and communication are the hot topics. And yes, those two things you CAN work on.

of course, do understand that a vast majority of marital problems are financial and communication based.

That being said, what can you do regarding changing yourself around the financial aspects? What PART of financial is your W concerned about?

Also, when someone suggests that communication is a problem, it can often be because they feel they are not being heard. How can you support better communication with your W?