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Hey All,
Just wanted to share that after many tests - it seems my mom does NOT have cancer.

I guess she had a very serious infection that collapsed her uterus (this is my mom's description). The doctors removed all the infection and said that they would check on her in 3 months... but felt that unless her uterus had cancer in it before it collapsed.. she should be okay.

I know we aren't out of the clear yet but He!! Yah! Prayers answered for sure! And my mom is in far less pain now that the infection is gone!

Well Valeska,

That is a REAL day brightener. So glad you shared. I'm sure you are over the moon!

Barb

Outstanding! Happy you have positive news.

That is great news about your mom!!

Thanks Everyone!

Update:
I still continue to build a friendship with the girl from the date. It has been an incredibly slow process... and an interesting one.

If getting a D is like an earthquake, then I've been dealing with the aftershock for the past year.

There has been just the consistent dealing with fears. Sitting in the uncomfortable and allowing things to happen naturally.

Remember how she called me "stocky"? Well in time- I have learned that she is just slightly awkward. When she is nervous - she says things that makes me turn my head and say "huh?"

I don't know if it's a deal breaker as I'm super social.. but it doesn't bother me as much any more. Hanging out with her actually helps me work on my triggers.. which I enjoy.

And she seems to feel comfortable enough with me to ask if things bother me.. which makes me think she is aware of her awkwardness as well.

I'm also working on expressing what I want without fear. Between having an emotionally abusive spouse and then going through the D.. I've learned to not say anything. To often show grace when holding people accountable and setting boundaries are more appropriate.

So I've been expressing when things bother me or how I feel.. when I feel the time is appropriate but always in a loving way.

It seemed to have opened the door for her to open up as well. We recently had a conversation about giving people power to make us feel certain ways.

I took her line dancing again and when we left the bar, the battery to my jeep alarm died and my car was left armed. Her dog was sick and she was nervous he was going to have accidents all throughout her new apartment.

She did pretty well at not expressing her concern... but she did let it slide from time to time. I felt bad for her pup.. but in no way took it personal and thought she wasn't being supportive of me and my jeep situation.

Needless to say it was fixed... but She asked me the next day if I felt disrespected by her and if she made me feel bad.

I responded saying no because I'm in complete control of my emotions. The only way SHE would make me feel bad is IF I gave her the power to do so.

I think she was surprised by that comment.. but that's kinda how I feel.

I'm sitting in the uncomfortable because it's my choice. I have fears that are my own.. and its up to me to deal with them.

It's up to me to recognize my own triggers and to say when I'm not honestly ready for something.

It's my responsibility to take care of me.. no one else's.

So that's the latest news. I see her again on Wednesday. I will continue to see where things take us.

Either way - I'll be just fine.

Val I've been seen someone for a few months. I spend a great deal of time trying to be perfect. Making sure that I don't make the same mistakes. Watching what I say and do. How I look and smell. Touch and go. I fear giving my heart again. Latetly I just needed to be home alone. As if I am practicing for another heart break. That she will walk away too.
TBH it [censored] to feel this way. A divorce really messes with you. So take slow my friend.

Glad things are going well Val. I really can't imagine dating right now, I am horribly lonely but know deep down I am not ready yet. Building on a friendship is the way to go and I like how you are putting you and your feelings first.