Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

It might be great for you to be in a new space not one full of old memories
I am not sure what I want to do. Some days I want to keep my house and some days I want a whole new space. I dont know...

You sound so much happier than you were earlier in the week that is so great. Its nice that H is being a bit better but lets just keep our fingers crossed he stays that way. Enjoy your weekend with the kids and dont let him steal your joy!!!!

Thanks Paige. I am happier. Much happier. I'm trying to give it up to God and enjoy life.

Sometimes I think we built this house on an indian burial ground. Things have been weird since we moved in. Various things. Hard to explain but I am looking forward to having my own space.

Went to the store today and I was cleaning out the fridge from H's time. Some nasty looking fish thing, leftover frozen lasagna, corn and cheesy mashed potatoes. I threw it out since it was old and the kids didn't want it. S said he didn't like any of that food H made. He said it tasted weird. Lol! Apparently H didn't like it either because there was plenty left over.

Makes me feel empathy for H a bit. He tries but just falls short. But I can't fix him nor can I help him. He's in God's hands now.

WH

So good morning with the kids. I packed the baskets last night and left them for H to hide. I hid 12 eggs with jellybeans for the kids to find. D woke up about 7:00 and went downstairs to find the note from the Easter Bunny. H showed up about 6:45 so he didn't spare any time. S woke up to go to the bathroom and went back to bed!! Lol!

I had made bacon, hash brown casserole, French toast casserole, mini cream puffs and fresh strawberries. Kids were heaven with the food and the candy and toys.

So H came and tried to make a huge dog and pony show. I didn't let it get to me. I said he was welcome to eat whatever he liked. So he did. And what do you think he did while he was here? He went upstairs, took a showed, came back downstairs, sat in "his chair" and fell asleep. Really? Mr "I want to spend time with my kids" come for 5 hours and half of that time spends it in the shower and taking a nap? Wow. Good riddance. We didn't get to go to churn because I didn't want the kids to resist because H was here. We are going to brunch in a bit.

What's the concensus? Good riddance. Oh and OW kept calling when he was here. Really sweetheart? Can't you just let him have a few hours of undisturbed time with his kids? Doesn't sound like a secure trust based relationship to me. But, whatever.

D put makeup on H so he would look nice when he went on his date with OW. Ha! She asked him again when he left if he was going on his date? Lol! My 5 year old daughter is asking her father if he's going on a date in front of her mommy. How do I explain to her this isn't normal? Oh jeez what if she tells her friends at school daddy dates OW but mommy just stays home with us? They might think he's a polygamist!!

What a morning!
WH

What a morning indeed!

I think we can never really know the true nature of their R with OW, but I am sure it is not as great and wonderful as they make it out to be.

I remember reading here once the term "electronic leash". Yep, OW definitely has my H on one!

When reading your post today, I thought of this from the hero's spouse -

"Alienators obsess about the wife. They are jealous and afraid of you.

Give them freedom to ruin their own relationship.

The stronger you are in the face of a full- blown public affair, the weaker she will be, the more controlling she will become and the more she will pressure him. Let her invade his space, let her become jealous and controlling, let her become pathetic, and best of all let her bad mouth you to him. This will eventually put him in a position where he feels the need to defend you, which will frighten the alienator even more and she will sink lower into her destructive behaviors.You do not need to do anything toward them actively for this to happen. It occurs naturally when there is an empowered and Standing spouse who refuses to play dirty."

Oh yeah. That's what I'm talking about!

Sounds like you're having a nice Easter with the kids so far. Have fun at brunch!

Happy Easter!
Sounds like hubby had a late night last night. Did you think to take a picture of your hubby all decked out in his makeup? LOL!

Sounds like the ow had plans for today and wanted to know where he was and when he was coming over. Poor baby...he had it so good at home and now at the bow wow's he's on that good old electronic leash!

Try to enjoy your day w/the kids.

I now know this to be the case - in fact (and I do have an xh who can be up there with urworthy's xh) my xh told me once rather grumpily that his continued strong feelings for me had wrecked his chance of happiness with OW1!! I kid you not. He certainly didn't display any very strong feelings towards me.

The woman was a freaking nightmare. She knew she had interfered in a very strong family unit, and boy did it eventually backfire on her. But these OW do have a strong hold that can take many years to fully dislodge

Well not to toot my on horn, but she should be afraid and threatened of me. I have something With H that OW will never have...our kids. I would never harm her or give her a second look, but she should be intimidated by me. I'm a heck of a good cook and homemaker, a darn good mother and a heck of a woman. She can't hold a candle to me and I just shake my head every time he leaves to go with her or whenever she calls. Does he think I don't mind now or is he so far into this relationship that he doesn't care about how I feel? Or is he trying to make me jealous? I am not jealous. Not one bit. But it does irritate me that they know dad goes on dates.

Sometimes I think he is with her just because of what she has to offer him (money and caretaking) or if he is afraid of breaking off another relationship especially the one he had been dating when he "left" his wife.

So do these "electronic leashes" come with a shock collar?

Forgot to mention that H is once again having issues with his car. That thing should be lemon lawed. Ever since H bought that car in 2010 he has had it into the shop numerous times. H used to say "oh...it's under warranty so why not?". I'm sure it's not under warranty any more. Especially since it's been in the shop since "someone" hit it. : )

I think he's a drama queen. Or king? Prince? Frog? Anything for attention I guess.

I hope that is the case with the OW. I am not sure though the OW was an old gf from the past.. When they were in town I told H not to bring her to my house. Found out later he would drop them off at the park by my house to come and get our kids. My boys didnt act like it was strange so no idea what he told them. My poor kids are going to have no idea what a real relationship is.

I know. It's hard to know what to tell and not tell the kids. Especially D. She told me tonight that I should go on a date. I told her I can't because I am married to her daddy and married people don't date. She said well you date your friends when you go out to eat with them. I said that's not a date honey. That's just meeting friends.

H called again about 9:00. Sigh. What now? So he asks what we are doin with the kids during spring break? Well, I am off work tomorrow and D is going to daycare Tuesday while S is going to a waterpark with a school group. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are H's days so it is up to him to figure it out. It seemed like a pretty lame excuse to call. He then talked to the kids for about 30 seconds then hung up. Don't know what was up with that business. Must have told OW he had to check in on the kids so he could look like a great dad.

Whatever. Focusing on me and the kids. Looking forward to a peaceful day tomorrow. With no H!!!

WH