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Still no official papers from her lawyer yet either. it was filed on the 18th. Heck I got papers from a divorce attorney soliciting me to use him before I even get the papers from her lawyer.

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Iphone mess up this morning. Meant to call a friend with the same first letter and called the W by accident. Hung up obviously. Was surprised I got a text right away. I'm at work what's up. I just sent sorry meant to call Karl. She replied oh ok. This is the same person who hasn't replied to any form of contact since she filed. Am I over analyzing?

Yes...







Maybe take her out of your contacts ?

That way, there are no accidents, and if you NEED to contact, then while you are typing in the number, you can think about if contact is actually necessary or not....

Good idea I put a z in front of her name so it's at the bottom of my contacts and removed her from my favorites.

Anyone Have advice for detaching? I am having a hard time doing it for some reason.

I'd be interested in some advice on the issue of detaching, myself. I'd be very grateful for any feedback on this issue.

There are chemical effects at work in your brain that are making your wife seem much better than she is and therefore much more desirable than she should be. Getting rejected or left robs us of self esteem so we see reconciliation as the quick path to be reaffirmed and get self esteem back. When reconciliation doesn't happen it starts us on a death spiral of self esteem plummet.

The way to detach is actually simple: you need to convince yourself that you are "all that" without your spouse's validation.

How do you do it?

1). Goal setting: set achievable goals for yourself where you can see weekly progress. It can be anything, losing weight, saving money, working out, playing an instrument and learning a new song, whatever. This is important because it will make you feel IN CONTROL and our sitch makes us feel out of control.

2). Replace adult interaction: Absolute best way is to volunteer. Helping other people makes you feel good about yourself and builds self respect. Take a class, join a meetup. Meet people who will like you for who you are, seeking shared interests is a great way to go.

3). Exercise like crazy

4). Upgrade your wardrobe and get a different haircut -- change your look

5). Give it time. It will be better but not overnight

There is no quick way to detach. I am learning this. I think I have come a long way no question about it, but still worry about what the "wife is thinking" and how will she respond way too much.
I need to get out some more for sure, especially volunteer. It's something I've been wanting to do so I'm looking into that next week.

So I texted my STBXW that I still haven't received the divorce papers to sign, did she happen to know whats up? No response. I did end the message with are they sending them by pigeon i was trying to kid around and put lol at the end.