GTO, I haven't read your old thread, just this one, so I apologize in advance if I'm off-base.
The gist of what I got from this thread is that you are very emotional, with continued breakdowns, and H enjoys talking to OW.
How did you behave when you were first dating? What did he like about you? Where did the happy, fun GTO go?
What are the things you are trying to work on? What are your 180s?
What is OW giving H that you are not?
With regards to the IC, I realize that's not what you wanted to hear, and I think I would have been peeved too, but perhaps the IC is really focused on what is best for the children. If they are really struggling with "limbo," maybe some clearer boundaries/routines are in order.
You are going to one of the most painful experiences in your life, but remember to focus on who you really are (not on the left-behind part of you.) Your H sees you as a victim; and my guess is that he feels bad about himself when he is with you. You need to change that.
Also, I don't like MC at all. Mine did a lot of damage to my R with my H. I love the coaches here, but the C? Very hard to find good ones.
Little. I fired 5 counselors. All 5 of them told me to leave my W. One of them gave me a business card to a L. There is no point in MC unless it is solution based. Zero.
You are not detached. Not at all. By showing your H that reaction he feeds off it. He knows your still hooked. He is not worried about losing you. I know you know this. I know how hard it is. He feels guilty for what he is doing so that is why he wants you to go out and meet other people. it is scripted..
this stands out to me
"AND, I have had it my way to have them here at home with me ALWAYS"
This is a HUGE issue ^^^ Huge. I hope you really think about that. I suggested in the past "mom's house, dad's house" Maybe you should read it and then hand it to your husband when your done. It covers D and most important separation.
Keep your chin up and don't let your IC intervene with your marital problems again. there is not point to MC ever unless solution based. Otherwise they will push you to D.
#1, I may regret saying this online...but my D2 D2 Lulu
Anyway, I would second Labug's questions. It's been awhile (miracle!!) since I've had an outburst and a huge reaction, but I ask myself those questions when I spin.
The visitation thing is hard, but I think it would help out. And frankly, TOTALLY MY OPINION!!, I think it would help for your H to not be around so much for you! Having to see him all the time has to make it hard to detach. I have seen a huge cooralation to my ability to detach from H and the amount of time I see him. It's just so nice to have that time with just my kids, he gets his time with just the kids. I mean, it's reality since we are separated.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Sorry, GTO. Him asking that was going in the opposite direction you were hoping for. It means he could stay away, make a permanent home without his family (you and the boys), and it could possibly include OW, who would probably taking on a pseudo mother role with them.
All the hardest things to deal with.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
