Just had a long conversation with my H-this time not about the $$. I just had to email him to express that I was upset at the whole deal with the woman he's seeing and the FB pictures, and that I felt there was a big elephant in the room. So I did it. It felt good to release the emotion.
He called and said it was hard for him to let go, and sometimes felt like calling me when he was upset or needed comfort, but he wasn't doing it. He also said he's having troubles w this OW and wanted my help to be a better person. So I gave him my honest feedback. He listened and thanked me for the feedback. He asked about my plans for the future and said he still had to figure out what he wanted. Said he's very conflicted and still wonders if he's doing the right thing. So, overall, it was good to talk to him without holding back.
I told him how I was afraid of him sometimes, how I felt that he got bored with the M and was looking for excitement, how I felt that I had also made mistakes and taken him for granted. It was a good release.
We'll see how that mediation session goes on Friday. I told him that after the D is final, of course I'll be OK about his OW, but now, due to my values, I felt I was being disrespected. He said I was right. At least he listened. Anyway, gotta get back to work!
Well done Tori! It sometimes is very much needed to release and express our emotions in the healthy ways we are learning about. And we cant ask more sometimes from people, except to simply, listen.
How is the book going? I cant wait!....
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
The book is going really well. The ideas flow so easily. It should be published early next year. Don't know how to tell you where to buy it or even how to send you a copy without sending you a private message, though. Something to think about.
Fifteen years ago today, I met my H. We were in college. I still remember his smiley face when he said that first "hello." He wore big, chunky eyeglasses and was very dorky-looking. Now, he doesn't wear glasses (got Lasik and one of the reasons supposedly was to prepare himself in case he needed to find another woman) and wears tight-fitting clothes. I miss the old H, but he's gone.
Your last post made me sad, a little. It is hard to think of who they once were.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Been thinking about you but have been AWOL from here for about a week. Turmoil in my life. But, it sounds like you are doing well and moving forward in positive ways! LOL -turtle
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
The book is going really well. The ideas flow so easily. It should be published early next year. Don't know how to tell you where to buy it or even how to send you a copy without sending you a private message, though. Something to think about.
Wow! Very impressive. I'm glad you're moving forward with the book. That seems like a lot of work to me.
Thoughts are with you Tori. Glad you had the chat with H and am in awe of how H told you his conflicting feelings and it didn't cast your footsteps and thoughts away from current path.
