Rock, sometimes I think the only time he's been a big boy in the last 24 years was the night he told me he was miserable and didn't want to be married to me anymore.
BIngo...in my case I had to bring that particular conversation up as well...lmao
If it's the right decision for me, why do I feel sick to my stomach about it? and all of its alternatives...
This is the easiest to solve lmao....I don't know about you but these decisions always make me feel queasy because they all have there what ifs....What if it is the wrong decision fo me? What if this goes to hell in a hand basket? What if I screw it up and it ruins any chance I may have? What if H thinks the opposite of my actions...What if, what if?
This trip is putting the teeter totter off balance when you were just gaining equilibrium back. It is perfectly normal to feel like this...
This is the only question for now...do YOU want to go? Yes or No? Find your answer, sit with it, make list of pros and cons and those pros and look at the pros and cons. You can then decide if YOU have more pros, if kids have more pros, if it is something you can do at this particular point.
Also if pass is good for summer, take Ss later on, your own little trip. Sit on this a bit
Queasy, good word, that's it. I've got to focus on other stuff now, I'll think about this more later.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
You might feel queasy because it's different and signifies another shift in your R with H and the family that was.
There is no perfect answer that is open to you. Your mindreading a lot about what your Ss may or may not think. They are going to have many different, uncomfortable, unwanted things come up in the future, not all of them having to do with your R with H. They will handle it when given the opportunity.
Have you asked the Ss what they might like?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Coming by to say I am supporting you. I think I can relate the queasiness and think Ruby identified correctly that is could be all of the 'what ifs' involved.
You have such a strong mind, I am confident you will come to a decision that you are comfortable with soon.
(((( ))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
You are probably queasy because you are thinking so hard about this. Like you do just about every situation.
How do I know? Because I used to do similar things. I worked out every single scenario I could imagine. I let the monsters run free in my head to the point that if I could have charged them rent, I would be a rich woman.
Sure you are going to be adversaries in an upcoming legal battle. One that might not be so bad if you can develop a working relationship with your H now. And if the thought of reconciliation ever were to come up, it would definately be easier if you had a working relationship, instead of a relationship that looked like a chess match.
The legal and the emotional need to be separated and you are far from that right now.
What happened to living in the gray?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
I always like to joke that when I get on a plane, I know exactly where the exits are and who I can leap over if necessary...
I guess Cat is saying that making a contingency for every what if is exhausting. Which is what I used to do. Now not so much, but I still catch myself once in a while
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Sorry for how you are feeling, it's brutal that something that's supposed to be fun like going to an amusement park with your kids has to be the source of such pain.
Just from reading what you've written:
1). You really want to go on this trip 2). You really are not comfortable sharing a room with H 3). You want the boys to stay in the room with H
I think that's your answer.
I understand there are many uncomfortable downsides to getting your own room. H put you in a tough position by just assuming that sleeping in the same room would be fine. There is nothing at all wrong with getting your own room or staying with your friends alone. They have downsides but they are not wrong.
I admire that you want to go on the trip. Personally I couldn't take it to see the WAW smiling and laughing when I was torn up inside, it was much easier to avoid those scenarios
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
