Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Here we go loopty loo. Here we go loopty li.

Hi Raine,

What they said ^^^^^^ !

You have something much more important to focus on than H...let him spin...you know what the driving forces are with him, you are very astute.

Put your feet up, pop in a funny movie and bring that new life into the world with some laughter...

Thinking of you and new one...
T^2

It's so much harder to deal with when the kids are getting hurt by it. It's spring break and H has spent 2 hrs with them this entire time. So last night S called H to see if he would come and play with him. No answer. Which is weird. So I look at where he is and check ow4 FB page and she made a public post about her bday dinner date. He never returned S's voicemail either. Zero contact. But karma made my night as ow4 later posted that her car got hit twice in a parking lot. You just cant make this stuff up. The sad thing is I doubt she has any clue about what is really going on. I do feel bad for this one. She is very young and I'm sure he has told her a slew of lies. I have no doubt she believes he is just waiting on the finalization of divorce and probably doesn't know I'm pregnant. The lies could be much worse than that even.

I'm pretty much ready for this new little guy to arrive. H and I have not talked about anything since sept to do with the baby. He said some very horrible things back near bomb drop, which I know were all about button pushing. I have not said anything since. I know that he knows I want him there and he will be. He also knows he'll have to have the other kids while I'm in the hospital. He has not had them for more than a few hours at a time and never overnight since S. Again, never said. We haven't talked about names since beginning of pregnancy either. I think I'm set on one. This has just got to be one of the weirdest setups for a new arrival ever.

TWS - It is that feeling. I feel so done, but it's not done with me. I just feel like he is ruining every happy moment I've had with him. It's depressing. Take her to dinner to one of my favorite places? Jerk. I think he took her out to dinner out of obligation. Gotta pay for service rendered at some point huh? He doesn't take any of them out or really buy them things, but I think this one holds him to a different level. He used cash and the only cash he has is his bday month from my mom. Nice huh?

snodderly - thanks so much. I agree. I'm finishing up the odds and ends of getting ready for next week. I do feel more tired and drained that usual, so I know everything else just gets compounded when that happens and I'm far more emotional. I'm anxious to have one more step checked off my list.

rH - I have felt that from him, that I am so much better than all his tiny crutches, but because I deserve so much better and because he has done so much to hurt me, he's not going to get back into a relationship with me. More excuses so he doesn't have to change what he is doing? He has done so much damage he can't see a way out? That the only way out is going to lead to me wanting nothing to do with him, so why bother and why put me through that? He knows that I will not bend, that I won't be his doormat. When I went to the Dr last week they wanted to know how Easter went. I said, great! I had H take care of everything. They were surprised and wanted to know if he was back in the picture. I said no, but that he will do anything I ask. Dr say, except come back? And I said, I'm not asking that. He has to do a lot of work on himself before that would ever happen. I think they were pretty impressed by that, but it's so how I feel.

Thanks T^2! I just read your latest post about trying to interpret the changes in your W. My H came in super happy last night to pick up S and first thing he asks is if he can give me a hug. Very different from the last time he was here, the day before taking OW4 out, where he seemed really irritable. And when I picked up S, the first thing he said is how pretty I looked. He is being nice, but I don't trust anything. Is it guilt? I did tell him when he acknowledged about not phoning S back, that S was really disappointed and that he kept asking to call him again and again. I did like that this time is H didn't lie. He didn't give a reason, but he didn't lie, and he apologized to S. Normally he would make a lot of stuff up about why he didn't call.

I hear ya, girl. I know the done feeling all too well. But the thing is, I seem to feel it, then have this tiny shred of either doubt or hope or both that tells me I'm not quite at the end of my rope. Yet.

I've read that although the MLCer chooses someone who is the complete opposite of us (obviously!), they often try to make that person into a version of us. (Having them dress like us, taking them to the same places as us, etc.) Its like they're trying to create the beginning of our R all over again. Weird.

Sometimes I get the feeling that my H is trying to make up for any mistakes he made with me through the OW - that he's trying to prove to himself how great a guy he can be. Don't ask me why. Definitely not normal logic.

And the kids getting hurt IS the worst. Absolutely. Seeing our kids hurt is awful. I hate it.

Now more than ever, forget about his crazy a$$, and focus on you, your wonderful children, and that little bundle of joy that is going to make his arrival soon.

Hope you are feeling better this evening

Thank goodness they are weird, right!? What if this was normal human behavior?
Onwards and upwards to a new thread: Crazy little thing called MLC