Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Tired of Dealing with MLC

Perhaps, Roses, it's about perspective. You seem to be looking at this as, "make it stop!" when it's really about a long term process. He is telling you things and you may be missing some of that in your own pain and confusion. You hear the words, but I think you're missing some of the bigger picture. Easy to do, Roses.

This is not a quick process. We'd like it to be, but it's not. And no matter how much we'd like it to be, it's not about us per se. It can be if we're willing to walk away and never look back. But if we have that little ounce of "wait it out" we need to see it through.

This is a long process and I doubt seriously he is lying when he says he is trying. Be careful to not be seen as pursuing nor of having any expectations. He has a lot on his plate and will not let you do those things very long.

Be patient, be compassionate, and be patient.

AJ

Thank AJ. You are right. He does tell me things, some things anyway. I really try to listen and be supportive. Its just been going on so long. I know I need to be patient, and I thank you for reminding me, I need it. I just really want this all to be over with but I know I can't control it.

I will need to try and work on being more patient. I am going to yoga tomorrow, that always centers me.

So H and I are going to a neighborhood event tonight. First date in about 6 months. So H asked if he could spend the night here. I was really surprised that he asked that. Do you think he is coming through the tunnel. To me it seems like a good thing that he is coming. I mean, he could have said no. Then I am worried that i am just setting myself up for disappointment in the long run...

Anyway, will just try to have fun and not have any expectations.

Had a great time going to the event. H and I hung out for a bit together early on in the evening. The rest of the night we spoke to different people. Then when we got home, he went to bed in the guest room. Just as I thought he would. This morning, I had a nice time drinking coffee in the morning. We talked about the people from the night before. I kept it very light.

At one point last night, he talked about his mom. That he had an epiphany that she is crazy and that's just the way she will always be. To me this is an important part of the journey, I do think he has many unresolved issues from his childhood.

So of course he went back to the other house this evening when I took the kids to swimming.

So I am going to try and stay detached.