Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Lost and confused Part2

well I had to send a text to my W an=bout the car payment and the jcpenny and something with the dealership. there all late payments.

she told me everything is paid but i dont see it online. only thing i care about is the car payment being in both names.

she was responding and not in a bad way. I still never got any reply from the text i sent a week or 2 ago about wanting to talk about what is making her so mad...

before I stopped replying to the texting today with her. I sent her one more text saying it sure would be nice to sit and talk to you.

It was from that point i got no reply from her. What is wrong with her. I mean why is it she just not return the request. I do not get it at all..

I was texting her mom about other things but then told her what just happened. She is so very upset with my W too. She told me this and it kinda hurts but i do get what she is talking about. she told me that is has been about 1 year that we have been living apart and that dont you think it is time to move on and be with a girl that appreciate you and all you do. this is hard for me to take.
I am still working with a coach and still want to try to make it work out. But it is her actions that are making it hard. I am talking about her lack of talking to me. Her mom said mybe she is afraid of confrontation. i told her i dont know why she is. I am not going to yell at her i just want to talk. She told me that if it was me i would not be so patient with her. Meaning i should just push her to talk.

To be totally honest this is very hard for me to type. But i do not get the feeling my W will ever talk about us and even well not work things out. So yes i want to keep trying but do you really think things can be turned around or should i just tell her if she want a divorce to just go file then.

I just dont know how to deal with this... i just feel like i should end it all as i cant take this crap anymore

well I had to send a text to my W an=bout the car payment and the jcpenny and something with the dealership. there all late payments.

she told me everything is paid but i dont see it online. only thing i care about is the car payment being in both names.

she was responding and not in a bad way. I still never got any reply from the text i sent a week or 2 ago about wanting to talk about what is making her so mad...

before I stopped replying to the texting today with her. I sent her one more text saying it sure would be nice to sit and talk to you.

It was from that point i got no reply from her. What is wrong with her. I mean why is it she just not return the request. I do not get it at all..

I was texting her mom about other things but then told her what just happened. She is so very upset with my W too. She told me this and it kinda hurts but i do get what she is talking about. she told me that is has been about 1 year that we have been living apart and that dont you think it is time to move on and be with a girl that appreciate you and all you do. this is hard for me to take.
I am still working with a coach and still want to try to make it work out. But it is her actions that are making it hard. I am talking about her lack of talking to me. Her mom said mybe she is afraid of confrontation. i told her i dont know why she is. I am not going to yell at her i just want to talk. She told me that if it was me i would not be so patient with her. Meaning i should just push her to talk.

To be totally honest this is very hard for me to type. But i do not get the feeling my W will ever talk about us and even well not work things out. So yes i want to keep trying but do you really think things can be turned around or should i just tell her if she want a divorce to just go file then.

I just dont know how to deal with this... i just feel like i should end it all as i cant take this crap anymore

LF, when you decide you need closure, go back to your DR book and look for "After the Last Resort Technique" (the ultimatum).

This gives your W one last chance to choose you and the marriage. You don't have to file for D to do this, but you must be prepared to do so. DO NOT do this unless you are ready to end the stalemate by possibly ending the M.

I agree, we can only go on like this for so long. Only you will know when this time comes. Hang in there buddy, you have a lot of people in your life who love you.

Oh, and since you just recently came off the anti-D's, maybe give it a little time before you make any move.

Yeah I was thinking the same. I can tell you that i do feel better but there is a side affect with this stupid med when you stop taking it. the withdraw is not good. I am so very very light headed dizzy it is crazy I wish i never took this med.

I did a search on this med and the withdraw seems to be a major problem for everyone. I would tell anyone who is thinking about taking this med to please think twice. it is cymbalta

Well like you say i dont think i am ready to end it yet. But i also dont like the lack of movement.

I had to contact the W this morning. I had to tell her that i am getting calls from bill collectors for her Creditcards and the car loan that is in both our names is calling and the dealer is calling me. Se only said im sorry i told them to not call you so just ignore them,( hmm i should say just pay them and i will not get called but i did not say it)
she said there all paid now but i know there not.

I did say to her that it would be nice to sit and talk to you some time. i will give you 1 guess on what she did. yup she just stopped texting me. No reply. Just like the 2 weeks ago text i sent asking the same thing. I do not know why she is doing this.

I talked to her mom and she said that she does not get it. she is going to talk to her when she see her again. But she said she does not see her much at all.

anyway something strange happend today . i was home and saw alot of police and firetrucks and ambulance go by my house. I was worried cause my nephew just left. so I got in my car and found out he was ok. But the car i saw was the car of W's Daughters BF. I came home and called her to see what happen and to maybe see if everything was ok. It was his car and the car is totalled.my step daughter told me that she totalled her car on sat. so not they have no ride to work or anything. She asked me if i could help her if she needed it. I told her yes I told her before that she could always call me. She is not living with her mom my W. But i also found that my W is not helping her at all. im sure ll this will get back to her and I will be the bad guy. But to bad, I offered a long time ago and she is taking the offer and asking for help. She does not understand what her mom is doing too.

I just thaought it was nice that the step daughter comes to me and not her own mom. This in the past always made my W upset.

anyway at this point we will see what happens. I am just at a loss with the W.

ok well i had to send a text to W about the car payment again she said was paid and is not!! Got no reply so i sent an email to her. I also told her to use the money in the joint account to help out. but she has been so stubborn that she does not.

Also the talk i had with my DB Coach was kinda odd and interesting. With all the updated things that have happened or not happened. She said she is at a loss. all the things we talked about and were told to try should have got some response but we always seem to get nothing. so she feels at this point that maybe we should just do nothing at all no contact. Hope is that at some point she will contact me for something.

So after today I will cut off all contact to her. but i have a question how do i deal with the car payment. it is in both our names and it is messing my credit up..... do i still contact her when i get the late notice?

No, I wouldn't. Just keep tabs on it and pay it at the last minute. No sense losing the car or messing up your credit rating.

If it were me, I'd just pay off the entire balance if I could easily swing it. Then you no longer have to worry about it.

FY I would pay it off if I could. Also the last time I paid a payment because it was late Boy you would have thought the world ended and i was the reason why. But i had to remind her that this is my problem too. The car is in my name and hers. She tried to get a loan in her name but can not for many reasons.

This time i am just a little more upset. She was told early this week and she text me back and said it was all paid up. but i log in an it is not paid and 13 days late. so i sent that to her in an email and text. got no reply also got the same report in the email today and gave that to her mom to give to her.

i wil keep tabs on this as i have to. I mean i even told her to use the money in the joint account and she does not use it. but she did use it for something.

this girl is just so odd i dont know what to do with her any longer

So check and pay if necessary, but don't contact her. You won't have to hear about the world ending.

Contacting her is doing nothing good for you... or her.