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Thanks Mish!

There are very few people who can have that kind of control over me. But I had to go along with her demands because I had done my homework and knew there was no one else that could do the job unless I hired a nanny and even that would not be enough. & Josh and I would give up so much. The 2 years since I first got in touch with her have been a freakshow. It was horrible how she took advantage of me and not once ever gave in on her demands. I'm still trying to recover $12,000 she forced me to pay in tax that I should not have had to. The government makes you go through the wringer to recover overpayments. I need that $ to put in a special ramp and entry into Ryan's room. The girls are still using our temporary portable ramp into the front entrance of our home which is hard to manoever.

But - I'm doing the Happy Dance right now!

It's hard enough to be Ryan's mom and keep up with it all to provide him with the best. Dealing with crap peeps like her and my ex just puts me over the edge. Thank God for my time away. I HAVE to have it.

Barb

YAY!!!

You BET!!!

I took some flack here in the Fall when I wrote about the agency head. Because I mentioned that she was a lesbian. A couple of people took that as me having distaste for homosexual people. And I'd like to address that.

I have many gay friends. I have total respect for them and their sexual orientation is a non issue. The point I was trying to make about "C" (agency head) is that she was constantly on the defense as well as the offense. She was a very much "in your face" person and I honestly believe she got that way because she was so defensive of her rights. (again - which I totally agree with). But, as with everything - people of all backgrounds can go too far in their right to defend themselves.

It's like this: there are people who are gay and go about their business just as there are heterosexual folks who do the same. Then there are gay people who are screaming from the rooftops "I'M GAY and I CAN DO WHAT I WANT". when there is no need to do so. Because it's not an issue. Do you get what I mean?

I have a niece who writes on Facebook "I follow Jesus and I don't care who doesn't like it". So defensive. When really - if she wants to follow Jesus or become a Buddist - it's her business - no one else's.

I really do have a point here and hope it doesn't get missed somehow as it did the last time and some folks got offended and said they'd never read my thread again. HARRUMPH!!! Ok - whatever - so don't read my thread. I rarely write anyway.

Each of us has the right to live our lives as we choose. Why all the defensiveness? Just do it. Just live in harmony with a same sex lover (or get married to them in Canada and some states if you choose), make your own religious choices, read what you want.

I believe you live your own life but also consider how your actions and words affect others. My dad always taught me to ask myself "how will my actions affect someone else".

I think "C" has deep seated emotional problems - hence the need to control every situation, leave no room for compromise - be the boss! And I do believe that some of her behaviour was from the defensiveness she felt she had to use as a result of her lifestyle choices. But it was not as if those choices affected me at all.

I hope, somehow you will understand what I'm writing. But it doesn't matter, really. I have the freedom to write what I wish. I don't belive it was intended to upset anyone. Take it or leave it.

Barb

PS: "YAY" too!

AMEN!!!!!!

I totally understand the point you are making Barb. It's not about her lifestyle, it's about the chip on her shoulder most likely caused because she was bullied or disrespected because of it and that has led to her controlling behavior. If she controls everyone around her then they can't have an effect on her.

I get it.

I know people of every race, creed, color, religion, and sexual orientation. None of it makes a bit of difference to me. What does matter is how you treat others.

Honestly, when people use the word 'redneck' or 'hillbilly' in a derogatory manner it gets my back up. Quite a number of my family members who live in West Virginia and Kentucky and southern Ohio are considered those but they take it with a sense of pride, not derision. When those words are used in a hateful manner it's a totally difference story.

I feel ya sister!

HUGS!!!!

Thank you so much for your wonderful reply, Mish. I was afraid that once again I might be misunderstood. I don't even like the term "gay tolerant". Because what is there to "tolerate". It is what it is. And like you say - you could substitute the word "redneck" or any other race, religion,social group - whatever. We can't belong to all of them. But we can "embrace" our differences - whatever they may be.

But it's "how we treat one another" that matters.

And as you say - she has a huge chip on her shoulder. And I honestly think it came from defending her beliefs - even if she should not have had to. But truth is - we all have stuff. We all have baggage. We just shouldn't wear it all the time.

I remember when I switched my kids to an African paediatrician. It was when Ryan was 4 years old and in a coma. And I remember thinking it would be good that my children would have a doctor, someone they could trust and learn to love (they did) of a different race. Like me - they're colour blind to race.

I took great offense to the implication that I might be homophobic. Or blame her behaviour on her sexual orientation. Because it means a lot to me NOT to be that way.

I'm in Florida. There is quite a diversity here but in a much different way than at home. But it's all good.

I also despise the term "redneck" unless it is used by a southerner who is laughing at themself. Just as I am a Canadian. I say "EH" a lot and watch hockey and often wear a heavy fleece even in summer. I put vinegar on my french fries and say ZED instead of ZEE. I also drink pop and Red Rose tea. And I laugh at myself - because sometimes Canadians are "just funny".

Barb

LOL! I totally get ya.

There are typical behaviors or ways of speaking for every part of the country. I lived in SoCal the first 30 years of my life and when I moved to Georgia I thought I would NEVER understand how they talk. Now, I don't even need the subtitles on Swamp People half the time! SCARY!

Zed... You sound almost British. Although if that were the case you'd be putting vinegar on your chips. Lovely jubbley!

You sound good Barb, it sounds like things are coming together despite ex. How it should be. Hope you're enjoying Florida. I love Florida, although have only been to the keys.

Ahhh... but I DO put vinegar on my chips (well, fries). Here in the U S they always look at us funny when we ask for it. I've been given red wine vinegar for them (not so good), even balsamic (horrible on fries). But anyone who carries a good malt vinegar gets rave reviews from me.

I'm in a good place. But the best thing is that I'm not dreading going home this time. I don't need to deal with that horror of a person who felt she could invade our lives. Just when Josh and I were starting out in a home together.

It will be cooler for sure, but I have lots of plans to keep myself busy.

The keys are lovely - I can go there by boat.

Barb

Heck, I put vinegar on my fries too! Most restaurants around me have a descent malt vinegar for their fish and chips so it's usually not a problem.

We have "Canadianized" you - LOL! Actually the vinegar is a British thing but then Canada is still part of the British Commonwealth. My grandma was born in England.

It's just GOOD!

Barb