Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Need advice. Here's my story

It's not even that I think there's a OM. Maybe I'm oblivious and there is who knows. We don't have kids together or anything to tie us together. So there's really no reason to talk. I shouldn't have drove by her house. Cause now I'm just worrying what's she's doing

So what is different about you now that would give your W assurance M to you would better?

I've realized I was emotionally abusive and have been doing alot of reading on it and how it affects people. I also would just try to buy her love. I also threw money in her face. Because I never felt appreciated.

Ok, but how do you know you wouldn't revert back to old ways after a while passed?

It's really good for us to see our part of the breakdown in the M. Taking responsibility is the first step in changing. Unfortunately, that isn't enough. We have to make a significate change from the inside out.

In other words, good intentions isn't enough. You have to find out why you abused her emotionally and get that fixed within yourself.

If you didn't feel appreciated, why would it be different the second time around?

This needs to be more than just putting the breaks on a divorce.

She has to see you as a changed man. Otherwise, it's empty words. Understand?

Oh I know and she's said that. Neither one of us communicate properly then when I try talking to her about what's wrong she leaves. I guess I don't really trust her not to leave every other month. I know we both love each other. But it's always in the back of my head that she'll leave. It's so hard not to call her right now and I'm second guessing not being her friend right now like she wanted to be. Did I mess up? I guess I want her to miss me and feel like I'm done in order for her to take her own responsibility in the breakdown of the M. Is that stupid?