If she it talking about moving back in there is hope. Do not drive her away.
I am not ready for her to come home. She just wants to because she misses the girls, but I don't think either of us are able to live together right now without conflict. I dont think she is still thinking seriously about it, idk...
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Nobody can live without conflict. You have to learn how to manage conflict successfully. (sorry, had to interrupt)
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Conflict was a bad choice of words... I need more time to detach.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I think it was what you meant though, before you put it in a more db style. When you aren't able to detach your emotions from her actions, conflict is unbearable. It's a good thing to learn as soon as you can, but your sitch is very new, and it seems wise for you to want to take things slow and heal with space and time.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
So last night we wen out for dinner and a movie, it was great, perfect. Today she comes to the house and is here 1 hour and then says she has to leave, that she just cant deal with being in the house. She feels like a stranger in her home, like everything here is a bad memory. Has anyone else felt this way or had their W feel like this? Does it pass? She says she doesn't think she can ever move home let alone come over again.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
So last night we wen out for dinner and a movie, it was great, perfect. Today she comes to the house and is here 1 hour and then says she has to leave, that she just cant deal with being in the house. She feels like a stranger in her home, like everything here is a bad memory. Has anyone else felt this way or had their W feel like this? Does it pass? She says she doesn't think she can ever move home let alone come over again.
Never mind I found my answer. It is because of her PTSD. I don't think we will make it after reading about how bad PTSD is and that I am a big part of her past that caused it. I can not be a support as i am the thing she fears most.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Her PTSD will lead her to find support in people who care about her and they will tell her to get away from the fear, stress, anxiety (me) and she will end up falling into the arms of someone who is safe for her, someone who is not me. Ugh...
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Why are you tormenting yourself with scenarios that you have conjured up out of thin air? What does DB tell you to do?
When you have decided you don't want to keep standing for your marriage, you have every right to make that decision. However, trying to base it on your prediction of future events is not a good idea.
What have you done so far to ensure that marriage to you might look different, and better, than before?
Also, have you ever noticed on these forums how very often a pull-back follows a positive experience with a WAS? Don't take it for any more than that, and keep showing compassion for her troubles and work on becoming a man only a fool would leave.
Nothing is written in stone.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
