First off Happy Valentines Day! Second.....the 4 yrs. I have been here I have never figured out how to copy and paste part of a message. lol Could someone indulge me please.
Thanks to all for responding.
Cadet thanks for the Faith and always being there for me. I do intend to live my life the best I can and finish my degree.
Snodderly thank you so much for your wisdom. I would end up with one of the angrier ones. I will always be here for my son, I love him very much. I hope and pray he reaches out to me again. I think he knows he can. Continue to pray for us.
AJM! Hey glad to hear from you. I prb shouldn't have said I understood the anger, I guess I figured it came with the territory for a couple yrs. anyway. How does your kids deal with this? I will always be here for my son and have told him so.
MaMaMo and Cat, thank you both as well. MaMaMo my son chose to go back to his dads, because I told him I couldnt deal with his anger any longer. I have beat myself up over telling him he would have to go back. I feel like I failed him. I prayed so long for him to come home. I asked him how he dealt with his anger at dads and he said he put his head in a pillow and cried or screamed. I do not ever see my ex or talk to him hardly.
Cat, how can i not blame my ex for some of this? My son grew up looking for attention and approval from his dad and didnt get it. (I see that now). He fears his dad. To keep dad happy, new step mom has to be happy. So my son has to listen to them bash me. I overheard son on phone telling his dad I ALSO had a nice home. They have got my son believing I can not survive. My son feels if he is with dad, he has to ignore me to keep them happy. I blame my ex for this. No matter the situation....people divorce everyday. NO CHILD should EVER have to deal with listening to one parent bash the other. That child LOVES BOTH of them. Imagine how that must feel. I came from a divorced home and know how i felt. BUT my parents co-parented and got along for us. I will continue to always be here for son. I love him very much!
It must be awful to walk around with that much anger toward someone. (speaking of ex here). How can someone be happy and live like that? I continue to pray for us all.
Braveheart, don't know how I missed your post, just now saw it and you are right I cannot change them, I can only pray for them.
This breakup with bf has been very hard on me also. Feel like im going thru another MLC. I do say though it is not near as bad as the ending of my marriage. I guess I am stronger after all.
My counselor that I am talking to says that the reason I have a hard time letting go goes back to my rel with my dad yrs. ago. I have a desperate need for a male in my life due to this. I wont go into all the details but its not just a case of be afraid of being alone, its more than that. Its a fear, but a fear of not having that male presence in my life.
One of the main lessons i have learned going thru this with my ex is NEVER EVER rely on anyone solely. Financially or emotionally. Rely on you and you only. Be prepared. It like this.....911 is there to help, but they can only get there so fast.....be able to help yourself if needed, dont solely rely on anyone or anything.
I saw my son today and had a very plesant visit. It was at work but none the less a great 30 minutes. I thank GOD for it all.
Someone can't be happy when they have that much anger. But it keeps the demons at bay for a while when you judge others
To quote, you need to add the quote tags "[ quote ]text here [ quote/ ]" (without the spaces or quotes)
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I prb shouldn't have said I understood the anger, I guess I figured it came with the territory for a couple yrs. anyway. How does your kids deal with this? I will always be here for my son and have told him so.
Well, my son seems to do ok with it. He's not happy about the divorce, or ex's new husband, but he makes the best of it. Daughter seems to be angry, but since she's taking it out on me, it's really hard to say how she feels. She doesn't talk to me and goes to great lengths to be angry toward me, like her mom. Solidarity? Sympathy? Feels safe taking it out on me? I dunno. But it is what it is. Kind of like ex leaving and getting remarried so quickly, right? Logic says it's not marriage they are against, even though that's what they said to us. right?
In my mind, your son, like my daughter, have to get through what they have to get through before they can grow like they should. Will they? Very likely. Is it tough? Heck yeah. My ex is very good at getting people to like her when she wants to. It drove me crazy, almost literally. I can only imagine how hard for my daughter. But she'll figure it out at some point in her life. Just like your son will. It's part of their growth and it'll take as long as it takes I think.
Peace!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
