Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Help/Advice needed please...

Sipped up massively today and I'm so angry with myself!

Son was upset so I phoned wife to discuss something with her and she told me she was at the ballet with OM "just a friend" I ended up telling her how much this was hurting our son, that she should be working on our marriage etc etc.

Feel really annoyed with myself - all my hard work down the drain.

It can feel like one moment of slippage mucks everything up forever, all your focus goes to replaying that mmoment and you spend way too long kicking yourself.

It was a moment. Let it go. It's at least as important to learn to forgive yourself for your slips,limitations and just being human.

HUGS

Btw what washer response?

Just the usual "I'm never coming back" "it's early day he will get over it" the stuff she said from the beginning really.

Oops. last response was meant to be an IM to someone else. Sorry about the clumsy fingers.

Her response doesn't matter. Those who leave give lots of lip service to the resilience of kids. What we see depends on what we are looking for.

Take your son and go do something today. Even just a walk or playing in the park,it's good to get out.

HUGS

JOURNAL

Detachment is not going well at all. W is with OM tonight at the ballet - apparently they're "just friends" but she won't be home at her Mums tonight or tomorrow.

I get so angry about it - how come she can put all of this energy into her new R but refuses to work on our M when she must blatantly be able to see the devastation it is having on our Son?

I know I can't change her, or mind read but it's so difficult and the truth is I'm very jealous of her ability to move on without fear or loss and I am jealous of the OM because he is with my W.

My 8 year old Son asked to talk to me last night... He was very open and it was very upsetting. Amongst other things he told me:

- very sad we are not together.
- When he is with his mum he misses me and vice versa.
- Gets v upset at school so just goes and sits by himself.
- Idea of divorce makes him very sad and he doesn't understand.
- He's scared that we will never do anything together again - Disneyland etc.
- Asked if I still loved Mummy.
- Told me he thinks all this is him Mums fault
- Just wants to be a family again.

It was so painful to hear - I wish my W would see what she is doing - but she is just with OM at every opportunity. She is coming round tomorrow for a chat about it all - it's going to be so hard not to get angry because I hate what is happening to our family and she just doesn't seem to care: "It'll be ok", "only way forward", "early days" so sick of hearing these things.

Anyone have any good responses when I get these statements regarding our son?

My dad has been taken seriously ill today - my son mentioned it too my wife so she text me saying "what's happening with your dad, please let me know I still do care"

So I write out a detailed text explaining that things don't look good etc and... nothing back. Unbelievable.