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Good!!! :-)

I can't believe he retained an atty since Sept of 2011. No wonder, he needs to move things along. Dummy.

Have a Fabulous Day!!!

Heather

Hey BK

Be prepared for the cycle, its normal and to be expected. The legal process that I'm currently going through has triggered many emotional responses.

Only time will heal us and unfortunately I've found that I can't rush it.

Xo

Keep copies of anything you provide. Your father, as your lawyer, should be the one submitting your financials to his lawyer. Make sure your social security number has been hidden well on any papers.

As for his lawyer robbing him blind...he will only do this if your h is calling him up and yapping or he's in there complaining. If your father hasn't been receiving any type of communication from his lawyer, then your h hasn't been paying him for work. Don't drink the fool's kool-aid!

Me likey!! ^^^^

Atta girl, B. Listen, you are going to be going through a really tough part now.

So, you have to have your wits about you and your mother bear instincts sharpened.

THe only way to do this, is through this.

You got this.

Thanks guys.

LoisB, its insane that my H retained a lawyer in sept 2011 especially since he didnt file until May 2012. I say this without judgement but for my H getting a lawyer made him feel like a big man. He needed to just to feel like he was the boss now

Snodderly, I just condensed the story but I did submit my financials through my father not directly to him. I am sure his lawyer is robbing him blind, I saw some of the checks paid until October of this year and his lawyer clearly knows he has an easy target. Also my father can tell what type of lawyer my H retained and that he is a jerk, only wanting $$.


I think I sound a little judgemental about my H whimpyness when it comes to money and being ripped off but it definitely an aspect of his disease that he cant stand up for himself with anyone. He would rather pay through his nose then confront the L and say why are you charging me so much when we havent even sent any letters of communication.

It is definitely an element of his personality that he needs to heal. H has the no more mr. nice guy syndrome.

SIAS, you are so right on that I cant rush my way through this, although I really want to.

Urworthy thks for the love.

Update: emailed H some housekeeping stuff yesterday and at the end of the email I said I know that this process is taking longer and costing more then either of us would like but you dont need to blame me for everything. I did after all give us 2 perfect things (with your help)

H replied to all the housekeeping stuff and did not mention my comment at the end. I am sure he hated it. To me its kind of ridiculous he left me close to 2 years ago, a non crazy person would say, something like you are right its not all your fault and we do have 2 perfect girls.

I think its really hard for me to believe that this isnt my fault. I need to always remind myself of that

Hi BKlynMom,

I am sorry to hear what your going through. My future EX shows little emotion about our sitch. She's a good person who IMHO is losing out on a good H. The fact your H's personality is changing back and forth might be a good thing. It sounds like there's an internal battle going on. Depending on how you handle this could help determine who he becomes. Unfortunately he blames you for everything because he can't blame himself. Your an easy target

Please do yourself a favor and work on you. It makes you a stronger person. Also if you haven't done so write down 3-5 goals of things you would want in your M. Break them down in smaller baby steps. It's one of the basics of DB'ing. I am sure there are many people on this board who could help you with this

All I can tell you is when I did this I felt like there was hope. When I stopped I lost all hope. Then my sbx got a lawyer and it will be over soon.

Good luck

Thanks fixer. I have somehow managed to work on me for a little over a year now. I love the new me which is somehow closer to my true self then the old me.

The girls are with h today and until pick up from school tomorrow. I had planned a busy 30hrs of me time but now I am sick in bed. Urg! Very frustrating. I guess I can read some positive literature.

I haven't ever done the goAls of breaking down what I want in my marriage because since the day of the bomb my h really hasn't opened even a small window to reconcile. I keep with the db principles the best I can but to write down what I want in a marriage when I am so far away from being married feels depressing. I am open to other thoughts but I haven't had a partner in 19 months and don't want to build up hope only to be let down

I've been thinking of you. Take care of yourself before the girls get home!

Yeah, when you do GAL you learn more about yourself then you expected. Sorry your not feeling well. I'm just getting over the flu and this is a though one to shake.

Please work on the baby steps for you. It may hurt but it will be difficult yo see any positive changes when they occur. Make sure too that you re-evaluate your goals too.

Feel better,

Fixer