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Well I got most of that to show up how I wanted. Strike anything after "call me." I got impatient waiting for the preview post to show up.

I have not sent it yet. I have been stewing on it for awhile, and have been super busy with the kids all weekend. I do like your suggestions, and I was probably going to strike the last line as well. I do think part of it is money driven on her part. I would be lying if I said that I don't consider it as well. Just because we are not together doesn't mean that the things I would like to do with my children have changed.

I also think I haven't sent it yet is because part of me doesn't want to upset her. Although, there has been no indication that things are changing, and quite frankly I am tired of being afraid to rock the boat. These are my children, and this is my future with them.

I sent it, and it completely pissed her off. Basically I got the, you can have your lawyer contact me from now on. I will not sacrifice my time with my children just to avoid hard feelings. And like everything else, this too shall pass.

I'll tell you a story eyes.

After a year and half of my WAW sneaking around on me and doing God knows what, and then being divorced for a couple of months officially, I had finally evolved to the point where I had quit caring frankly about what she was doing with him. Nothing I was going to do was going to stop it anyway.

So around this time there was an instance where we had switched days and I watched my daughter to allow XW to go do something (can't remember what it was). Thus I basically owed XW a day with my daughter. She wanted to have my daughter this one particular Sunday afternoon when it was my weekend with her. I could tell something was fishy with the request, so I asked her why. She said the OM's nephew was having a birthday party and she wanted Grace to attend. I was so shocked by her actually telling me the truth about her intention that I didn't think and agreed to the switch. This was about a week in advance.

Anyway, I thought about what I'd just done for the rest of the evening and got a sick feeling to my stomach. So I called XW the next morning and reneged on the agreement. Because though I had quit caring (ok, fine, by and large) what XW was doing with the OM, I had not encountered a scenario where I would surrender my time with my daughter to OM. And that was just not going to happen. My daughter was only 3 at the time, so it would have went over her head, but that was not a precedent I wanted to set. Was one thing to have lost my wife's respect, I was not going to do that with my daughter by giving up time my time with her for anything regarding OM.

And my XW was incredulous that I'd reneged. Groused about it most of the week, tried to guilt me out of it, even the day of asked again "So, you're really not gonna let me take her?". I was so angry that my response was not even to stick it to XW by doing something fun with my daughter that Sunday. Rather I made sure she got an extra long nap that Sunday afternoon and I did too. Meaning, I'd rather have my D do absolutely nothing all afternoon than relinquish my time with her to OM.

I was concerned about XW's ultimate reaction, but, as you might have guessed, nothing bad ensued, even as quick as a day or 2 after things were back to cordial and soon better than cordial. And if I didn't know better, I think XW started to realize that there would be issues with our ability to co-parent if she kept making requests like this. No such request was ever made again by XW. I shudder to think how bad I would have felt though if I had not taken back my willingness to let her go that party. And what other kind of requests would have followed.

Now, eyes, I'm not at all trying to say that what you're going through at this leg of your journey is on the same level with this minor stance I made. But it does have a parallel. Don't be afraid to stand up for your time with your kids. 50/50 is the RIGHT THING. You don't get time with them back. Just like they're irreplaceable, so is the time you can spend with them. Do you want to look back on this in 3 years or 5 years or 10 years and say I wish I would have fought harder for 50/50? Woulda, coulda, shoulda will not be (please pardon what you're about to see, it's late) gooda nuff if you ever have that regret.

10 years from now, are you more likely to regret not trying for 50/50, or regret upsetting your wife about something that is the right thing overall?

Lastly, I will ask you this. If she gets upset, what are you afraid of? I'm not saying that to challenge you or bully you, like "cmon man, what are you afraid of?" I'm asking because I think you need to think it out, write it out, and understand why you're afraid to rock the boat. You spend a lot of time on here, I urge you to write this out so you know. What's your biggest fear if you fight for 50/50 and emphasize its for the kids just as much as for you? Best advice I ever got was sometimes you have to take fear by the trucknuts and show it who's boss. And notice, I don't say show your wife who's boss, I mean show your fear who's boss.

Best of luck man.

Well it took me more than 20 minutes to write that last response to you so our posts crossed in the mail. But you're right, this will pass.

Yes GK...you said it very well...You did the right thing Eyes; she is now trying to bully you into doing her will.

Hey just checking in to see how you are doing hope all is well there and you are taking it a day at a time