Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Trying to move forward

I went on ADs when my father died. NOT to "deaden the pain" but so I could function.

I had 2 small kids and a new job. My DEPRESSION kept me from concentrating, kept me from being able to lovingly interact with my kids and kept me from enjoying life. I could not sleep well either. Too many nightmares.

The ADs' helped me realize that although my father had died, I did not have to feel responsible for it, everyday. I did not have to say "well since he died I SHOULD feel crappy", on a daily basis. It did not make me "happy" that he had died.

But I was able to appreciate music on my way to work, tap to the tunes again get a decent nights sleep...

AND I could concentrate enough to play a game with my kids, HEAR what the trainer at my new job was telling me, and remember it an hour later, and basically to FUNCTION better. Depression was interfering with my functioning, absolutely.

These are not narcotics that deaden pain or confuse us.

They help us when our depression is too much and makes us start "looping around with our depression, not able to take an exit ramp".

That's how I'd describe it. After about 6 months, I weaned off over a period of 3 weeks and was pretty much fine.

Just want to offer my 2 cents on SSRI. I think you are right that when someone is in the depths of depression where they cannot even function any more, or have lost a parent or sibling or child or spouse, or anyone you hold dearly, then A/D will definitely be the solution.

if you google "SSRI and divorce" you will see the hundreds if not thousands of posts that we are referring to. Yes we all need to work on ourselves because we know our marriages have issues, but for some people there is no denying the mind altering power of SSRI meds.

I read something written by a psychiatrist about the dangers of prescribing SSRI's to someone who is not clinically depressed (using the Hamilton Depression Rating Scale). You mnow how easy they hand them out now right? Walk into a Dr office and tell them you are a little stressed and feel a little anxious and you will walk out with a SSRI prescription, guaranteed.

Now what the pych guy said SSRI meds inhibit the uptake of serotonin and therefore have an increasing effect on Dopamine levels in the brain. That is what makes you feel happier if you are down. Now, if you are NOT down, the increase in dopamine will give you a high essentially.

If this happens to coincide with a EA, the person may associate the "high" with the love for their new partner. Its kind of a timing thing.

My W had anxiety mostly from the fact that two different day cares could not handle our daughter and would call her to come pick her up early because she was disrupting the class.

Her anxiety got worse as they made us pick D up earlier and earlier. Plus our financial situation got worse, so anxiety for both of us got worse.

Anxiety is treated with XANAX, but many Dr. are scared of prescribing xanax because it is habit forming for those with addictive personalities. So what do they do? they prescribe a mind altering drug which messes with your brain chemistry to someone who's brain functions properly but just has some anxiety, just because SSRI calm those who are depressed.

There is no science for brain chemistry to test people for different levels of Dopamine etc.. or if there is, it is not being used. They prescribe you something, and then watch for signs of medicinal reaction.

The same psych guy mentioned the bigger problem. Therapists prescribe these SSRI's without having enough sessions with a patient to actual know how they think, who they are, what their moral beliefs are, how they view marriage, how they view their life, their parents etc...

So, often times in the follow up visit, just because the patient is not talking gibberish, that is enough to up the dosage to the recommended amount for someone who is clinically depressed.

My wife went to a therapist complaining of anxiety, didn't mention any issues with our marriage, even in a private session. Prescribed 50 mg of Zoloft daily.

4 weeks later, second session, still getting anxious but only sometimes. Appears to be fine with no crazy symptoms. Still no mention of marriage problems. All problems seem to stem from D3 and the school situation. Zoloft dosage upped to 100 mg a day.

BAM! New person. A few texts with a guy she barely knows, the new insane levels of dopamine in her head, (remember her dopamine was fine to begin with.. 100 mg of Zoloft is upping it to abnormal levels) and the "high" must be the new guy. He makes her feel incredible.

Now, I am not going to lie and say we don't have issues in our marriage. But, just 2 weeks before BD my wife was saying she can't be on this stuff for too long because if we want a brother or sister for D3, it will need to be soon because D3 was going to turn 3 in two months.

Someone thinking of when to have a second child is not exactly someone on the verge of leaving.

My wife family has a long history of bipolar disorder. Her mom was just telling me today (her mom is bipolar and takes meds for it) that her therapist (not the one my W goes to) is worried that she is bipolar and has not been correctly diagnosed. SSRI for bi-polar people can trigger MANIC behavior which can lead to spending sprees, or out of character stuff, OR more importantly a loss of inhibitions in the sex department and can even trigger sex addiction or nymphomania.

Again, I am still working on my 180s for me, and I am working out to be more healthy etc... but it is not just me that is worried this is due to medication. her mom, a bi polar, and life long user of SSRI's attested to her manic episode at the wrong dosage.

We most not forget that these are mind altering medications. As someone who grew up outside of USA, I can tell you that the outsiders view of America is a pill popping nation who get diagnosed with "syndromes" unknown to anyone else anywhere in the world. Ritalin for kids, SSRI's for anyone with even a little stress or anxiety etc. There are many millions of people walking around that are way over medicated.

again, if you don't agree, please google around a little. The American Association of Psychologists have a recent study on emotional blunting and its effects on long term relationships that is alarming. I didn't make this theory up, this is all documented.

Now back to DBing! I have a coaching session tomorrow and trying to get my questions together!

Yes and I'm sure they're all verified and vetted. Conjecture and opinion aren't evidence.

Sorry I miss quoted. SSRI cause a decrease in dopamine which leads to the loss of feelings for a loved one you once thought was the love of your life.

If you are bipolar, they can trigger manic behavior. If you happen to on the verge of an EA, then you have a problem.

Loss of feelings for your husband or wife, manic behavior with the EA/PA high, and you are in your way to a divorce. At least that is what evidence seems to suggest.

Last post just to tue this into our DBimg efforts.

For the LBS, meds like SSRI can be the only way you can stop the physically i'll feeling you got after BD. The sickness that makes you lose weight faster than any other way! It number your emotions so you can function and improve your sitch.

Now for the WAS, anything that mumbai their feelings is going to help them disregard the damage they are doing to others. For the first time in their life they don't give a darn about anyone's feelings and think they have reached a sound decision. No remorse for the loyal spouse or the children. And the feeling that for the first.time in their life they see things clearer. Which actually translates to seeing things without a consciousness that would make them feel remorse or fear or any feelings of doubt.

Your link isn't doesn't take me to the APA.

Just keep working on you, let your W handle her healthcare.

OMG, STOP THIS! You are not an MD and now you are "teaching" us what WE ought to take or do and what effects the ADs have and how it affects our feelings and blah blah blah MORE of your lectures.

You're way out of line here, imo. If you want to suggest a link, just do that AND Speak of YOUR experience and focus on YOUR WORK ON YOU.

Leave the lecturing and the analysis out of it (especially since you got a lot of this wrong to boot). Please leave the practice of medicine to the physicians.

Don't you see the blatant pattern of globalizing a problem of yours, thereby avoiding the real issue here, which is YOU and your marriage? You do this a lot.

I'm sorry if it sounds harsh but this is annoying AND IT IS DANGEROUS.

Dewayne,

sorry for hijacking your thread. So, back to YOU...

Dewayne. Monitor the nicenes.... Usually it comes with some attachments....

Just fyi, I'm pretty sure that the posting of outside links is still against the TOS around here.


Starsky