TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Regretful, Looking back, I believe the separation was more for me. I was so resentful that I couldn't even look at him with an "acting as if" expression. Being apart FORCED me to look at myself. It took me a long time. I say long because after 7mos of focusing on him and our M, I finally started to look at myself. And even then it took me another 6mos to see small genuine positive improvements in myself.
I was so angry at the one year mark because I related my journey to time. "time heals all wounds" but HOW MUCH TIME?? For me it was changing my perspective and looking at it as not time but "with the help of God and my tools, I will heal my wounds."
I hope this helps.
StubbornDyke, I AM ON A ROLL!! I LOVE IT but I'm so scared at the same time. You'd think I'd be on a natural high but I've suddenly developed this fear of being alone at night with the kids. I think it's more fear of being vulnerable and the possibility of getting hurt again. That's scarier than I thought!!
Bustingout, Thank you friend! I think of you often and although I don't always post on your thread, I'm checking up on you. many many hugs!
Journaling++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ As I mentioned before I developed this fear last night. I am terrified to go to sleep. I am afraid of an intruder coming in at night.
I was thinking more about it and I think it has to do with the improvement in my sitch. On Fri night, H sent me a text. "thank you baby. I'm going to go get Chinese food. I'll be dropping it off so you can have food for tomorrow."
First of all, in the past, H has sent me texts that were for OW. Second, he doesn't call me baby. So I called him (very shaken), "please check that you are sending me the texts." He was confused and said he was getting chinese. He called back and said he apologized but hadn't realized that he had included "baby." That his cell adds words to phrases and he hadn't checked it before sending it out.
I believe that cell phones do this at times. However I struggle to believe that the text was for me.
Also, a friend invited me to her husband's 40th bday. H n I were considering having them baptize D1. I asked my friend yesterday if it was ok to invite H. She responded to my text but didn't answer my question. I asked again and I still haven't gotten an answer.
She is a close friend. But since H is more interested in having them baptize D1, I feel uncomfortable going without H.
Any advice?
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Vero do you mean that because they are the ones that would baptize D1, and H wants that too, that you feel uncomfortable going to the party without him?
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Brklyn. no need to elaborate. my friend got back to me and said she has no problem with H going.
Bustingout. yes. that's exactly why. because H really looks up to them to be D1s godparents. My friend's H has been very friendly with H as opposed to everyone else on my side, friends and family have been cold and distant.
Journal############################## No need to worry about all this. I was overreacting. That's an old bad habit I'm trying to work on.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
your story inspires me. I have been struggling so hard with giving up on my sitch. Reading through your journey gives me hope. I look forward to you sharing more and more
thank you suckerpunch. I used to read all the threads looking for someone's story that would give me hope. At the time, I only read similar stories to my own. The only ones where I found hope were the ones where there was no or short infidelity.
I hope you continue to DB. It works!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Hi Everyone! I hope that after almost 3weeks into the new year, we are all moving in a positive direction. Progressing in our sitch. I hope that you are all learning to love yourselves without the need of your H/W love and affection. I hope that you have all moved towards parenting yourselves.
Recently I heard this said 3 or 4times at different meetings. "Don't go to the hardware store for milk and bread." I felt as though it was meant for me to drill it into my brain.
Last night, after noticeable hesitation from H, I asked him (in a nonthreatening way), why is he so apprehensive when it comes to our weekly dinner outings w/o the kids.
He said he felt apprehensive. Worried that it might spark an argument or questions from me.
It's been a while since this happened. Almost 2mos but I notice that 2mos for me is 2 days for him.
I thanked him for his honesty but feel myself shutting down. Why? I asked myself.
I feel as if I'm forcing someone to like me. I thought back to a time in college when I had a somewhat similar feeling. I felt so embarrassed at myself for practically throwing myself at this guy and realizing he wasn't that interested.
This morning H sent me a text telling me not to stress so much about our money sitch. He thinks that's what's consuming my thoughts.
I am aware I'm throwing myself a pity party. My goals for today, pray meditate journal read my Al Anon lit meeting tonite
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
