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Just wanted to post that Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa reconciled when they were in the mist of d. (maybe this is old news I stopped following sports right after bomb)

Don't give up before the miracle happens

It's so crazy. Every time I take a step backwards like I was the other day somehow a few days later I take a giant step forward.

I am proud of myself

Yes, you should be very proud of yourself. You may not know it, but you've grown so much since you started posting. You post good advice to others and are very supportive as well.

Don't get discouraged if you take two steps back. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.

You are doing great!

This made me smile. Good for u BK. Xo

Thks snodderly and sias. I love you guys!

For the record:

My stbx never calls the girls. Never. He stopped calling when he came back to NY last January. Over the summer he mentioned to me that he didn't call because he thought it was too upsetting for the girls. I nodded affirmative and said ahuh in my best alnon/db way.

For the best couple of weeks as I have come to further accept our d I knew I needed to talk to him about his no calling policy. (FYI I call the girls every night they are at his place).

I sent him and email this morning "hey, I think the girls would really love talking to you on the phone. Should we set up a time, morning or evening work for us"

H does not reply but he did call this evening while I was at an alanon meeting. My mother said d4 had a mini conversation and had fun talking. D4 told me about it when I got home. I hope he decides to keep calling it made her so happy.

He ends the call by saying to my mom "bklyn sent me an emailing saying to call so I did"

Very strange on so many levels. So not the guy I married.

Do these people hit a bottom? I feel like stbx will just spend his life treading an never hitting the bottom? I feel sorry for my girls that their dad will be emotionally unavailable. I also recognize that his relationship with OW must be half a relationship. Won't a normal OW encourage him to call his kids.

Anyway I feel good. Glad I made it to a alanon meeting, I need to figure out a way to make time for more. 3 a week is what I need to feel good

I feel ya.

Instead of hitting bottom, some seem to become bottom feeders. I hurt for my girls. Didn't cause it, can't control it and absolutely- positively can't cure it. Believe me, I've tried!

Heather

Progress

H called again last night. The girls were already asleep buy atleast he tried. He said he would call regularly now. It would make the girls so happy.

We also called him this morning because d4 wanted to talk to her daddy. It was such a cute conversation.

It really doesn't make any sense that he would not want to be with his kids and talk to them every day.

I know he has a screw lose but it's still so crazy

B, it's the disease. His thinking is clouded and all he wants is the next whatever...

My H has missed both girls' birthdays, d18's prom and a host of other events.

You're doing great! Hang in.

Heather

I am so crazy.

My H made a deposit today into my checking account. I am so thrilled. I am trying to not fantasize and make up a future R but I cant help it. Thats what I am doing.

I know logically its not a big deal that he made this deposit but for me its the first thing he has done in months and months that has been considerate. It also means he has been tracking my banking activity and noticed that I was running low.

I just want him to come home so badly. I try to hide this want behind GALing and Alanon meetings and staying busy with the girls but I can't get the fantasy out of my mind of a intact family unit.

I am going to go read some alanon books now to erase these thoughts.