It's tough Confused but you need to start detaching from him. You cannot make him think, want or do anything. The sooner you truly understand that and start letting go, you can start working on you. Try to breath and relax a little, it's tough but you have to try. Working out really helps to relieve some of the stress.
List the complaints he had and look at them, I mean really look at them. If they are legit then change your behavior (180's). You need to do this for you, not to win him back but for your salvation in this. You need to be the best person you can be.
Don't beat yourself up about this (so easy to do). You had a hand in this marriage, try to look objectively at your behaviors and correct them.
Love your kids, hug them a bunch and constantly show them love. Try not to put him down esp. in front of the kids. Forgive yourself (that was tough for me) remember you have value and worth.
Keep posting here, it really helps to get stuff off your chest. There are some great people on this site and they will help.
P.S. Sorry that you find yourself on this forum, everyone here is walking or has walked the same path you find yourself on.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I am so sorry!! My heart is breaking for you and your kids. I have an almost 6 year old S and I am doing everything possible to protect him.
I am new here also, but began reading DR this week. It is a nice extension of DB. Keep the 180s...add more...GAL....detach....have fun with kids....be gentle and kind to yourself.
He walked out tonight. He told the kids he was leaving because he had an affair. They cried. He showed no emotion while the kids cried, it broke my heart He gave them quick hugs and left.
What can I do other than console my kids? I told them I love them and their dad loves them, he just won't be here. How do I handle this?
So sorry! What you can do is locate a copy of DR and learn how to DB. Read Sandi's DB tips at the top of the forum, that'll give you many of the bullet points of DB'ing while you're waiting for DR. This is the time that you absolutely do not want to beg/ plead/ grovel/ reason/ argue/ etc. Read Sandi's tips and LIVE them.
He gave them quick hugs and left.