Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers House for sale. So Sad. Family Breaking Up (pt 2)

Looks like W is prepared to lower the price of the house after 7 weeks including the Holidays...She sent an email to the RE Agent. Still have not spoken to W since Dec 28. I have trouble looking at her and she at me. Like I have nothing to say. She is one angry, bitter person. I had done a lot of soul searching over the past year and a half and while obviously not a perfect husband I have been faithful and honest and worked so hard for all we have. I made very good money over the years and I always thought I spoiled her and the kids. I gave in to everything. I really though i was doing everything for them and that is what she wanted. never gave me a clue ( or at least that i noticed) that things were amiss. she would even tell me i was the best husband and dad possible right up until the bomb. I am sure i expressed how i felt but i guess not in her LL. Emotionally I missed something for her obviously but really in the grander scheme of things the hatred and disdain for me is surreal and I just cannot see it justified. Every time I see her BMW I bought her in March I want to kick it. I should sell it. Sorry I am angry today...I feel so used.

Anyone else feel so used? What is my friggin problem?

Feeling bumbled out and used. Sometimes I feel the victim and sometimes I feel so confident. Sometimes I feel self-righteous and angry. Feeling used and angry tonight. Litigation on the horizon. It is going to get ugly.

My H would say the exact same thing about me.

Think hard now. Why do you think your W went off the deep end? You said it - "Emotionally I missed something for her" - she was not fulfilled emotionally. I think that's the A#1 most important thing for a woman in a R. She wants to know that you are there for her emotionally.

Now, maybe it's not your fault that you weren't - if you weren't aware, perhaps. Maybe you guys didn't have great communication to begin with, which would make those conversations difficult. But the fact is, she had an A, and that doesn't just happen. Something was really missing for her.

I know she's being bitter and awful, but if you can put yourself in her shoes for a second, you might understand a little better...

I get it but there were two sides to the dysfunction. She had her outlet and I had mine. Mine was not secret betrayal and something she supported and pushed me to do...coaching competitive ball. She never ever expressed deep concern about our M. Never sat me down and never said we have to talk and our marriage is in trouble. Never went for help on her own. There were lots of better choices for her. As I say right until the bomb I was the greatest H and dad she always said. Even months after and she begged for me back. She never owns her issues. It was all my fault apparently.

FM, you struck a chord with me over in CV's thread. Thought I'd pop by and offer my unspoken support...


{{{{{}}}}}

Thanks Pal.
FloydMan because I am a fan. The Wall has a lot of what resonates with my witch...I mean sitch. The film scene for the song Mother hits it hard. I am Pink in that. Check it out on YouTube.

I know it wall... erm... well... always worth another watch.

Be well, head up, all that!

Hey FloydMan ( a fan as well . )

Again, we got to take this journey and look at who we are, make the changes and continue on.. It is a gift in really bad wrapping and you struggle to open it, the paper gives you cuts and it is generally a pain in the a$$.

This is something the majority of our spouses will never get to do.
I am sorry she blames you for everything and won't take responsibility, but you may never be able to change it. Or she will come to realization that you were the best thing in her life and she was a fool.

My goal is to be down the path far enough that if R or D happens, I am exactly in the same place. This is where all the work in DB gets you. That you realize that whatever happens may not necessarily be what you want, but you know you will be okay, because you have already been traveling that path and it is a little easier to continue than to take the first step.

Oh....and go to BED!!!