Ruby, you sound so good. I'm happy you are finding yourself again and I think your H will see it, and remember what drew him to you in the first place. Keeping going!
But, I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you to keep your expectations in check when it comes to H. Don't mind read...just live.
It agree the holidays are tough for me for the same reason as yours--H has OW in the wings, & I have nobody (except my kids, which are hugely significant, but not the same).
I agree too that January could be interesting for you (& me). I will be spending the next week reviewing DR & DB to help me "stay in the zone."
Try to have a good day tomorrow! (((HUGS)))
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Yay! Thanks for chiming in girls! We will stay this course and when it reaches whatever outcome it does, we will be so much better for it, I feel this!
Thanks for reality check Breakdown. Expecting something is conditional, so I am going to look at behaviour as a gift. Given freely with no expectation of a return. So that works on both ends, mine because I give and it's what I want to do, and I will not expect anything in return at this point. His I will take because I know he hurts too, so if behaviour is good, I will just take it at face value. If behaviour is less than stellar, then I will ignore or have a chat about the boundaries. I really think introduction to OW talk will be coming up, so I need to talk with IC about that and suggest we see a child psych for some guidelines. That's the best I can do without saying " are you nuts!!!???!! This isn't gonna last you doofus, why would you do this to D??"
See? Not totally detached lol!
Tomorrow, afternoon, I will cry a bit, go for a run, take a bubble bath, read a book and wait for them to come home . I will look at all the prezzies from aunt uncle dad and cousins, ooh and aah and go to sleep , cuz Wednesday is another day.
I'm proud of you RT, you are getting stronger every day.Your right. it's just another day, we put the pressure on ourselves. I spent several Christmas's and other holidays at sea on a Submarine and it did not hurt as bad as this. I still get to see my children and interact with them. The difference is me putting the pressure on me.
Stay strong RT, today was my day without the kids. I had some friends invite me over for dinner. We ate Tamales and played Apples to Apples. i actually relaxed and forgot about her for a bit, it was nice. When I got there I told my friend that I felt like a beggar and she was more than gracious to me. Find someone to play some games with, get out and let your mind relax a bit.
When your brain starts spinning think of me trying to cheat at Apples to Apples lol. Oh I did not win by the way.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.