well I sent my merry Christmas text and nothing. Now I sent it thinking I would not get a reply. So Im ok. It is just I know this is really not how she ever was.
Boy oh Boy she really must be angry.
Ok as i was typing this she replied. Same to U!. Nothing about the gift or anything but like I said i did not think she would say anything.
Well im not sure but my gut is telling me that I should just stop all contact with her till she cools off if she does. I do want to say I do want to work this out some how however I get these moments i think im am just tired of all this. I love her but I can not take this.
Well it is snowing so I text my W told her to drive safe if you go into work today. lu.
And well nothing. I was down when i got up this morning to the point yes i hate to say this And dont worry im ok but the fast thought came to me maybe it will be better to just end it If I die will i go to heaven and be happy. Now it was just a 2 sec thought that i dismised as fast as it came in.
I just wanted to tell were i was today.
I just dont get it anymore i dont understand why W is still so angry
well I sent my merry Christmas text and nothing. Now I sent it thinking I would not get a reply. So Im ok. It is just I know this is really not how she ever was.
Boy oh Boy she really must be angry.
Ok as i was typing this she replied. Same to U!. Nothing about the gift or anything but like I said i did not think she would say anything.
Well im not sure but my gut is telling me that I should just stop all contact with her till she cools off if she does. I do want to say I do want to work this out some how however I get these moments i think im am just tired of all this. I love her but I can not take this.
Is this how it starts for others?
Here is what I posted to your other thread on 11-05:
Quote:
I posted this before but I think you ignored it because it's not what you want to hear. SHE'S JUST BEING POLITE. That's it! You're trying to read some desire to reconcile into her texts and it's just not there. She has been completely consistent in her replies. Anytime you just text something light then she replies in a polite manner. Anytime you push it down a relationship type path she doesn't reply because she doesn't want you to get the wrong idea.
You're really coming off as desperate and clingy in your posts here, and I suspect that's how you're coming off to her as well. That's got to stop, it's not what she's looking for. You need to be strong, independent and exuding PMA whether it's in person, in emails, in texts or on the phone.
You are just repeating the same behavior over and over again. Your W is done, when you text something to her she's just texting back polite replies and you are trying to read too much into them. All these texts you're sending are just harming you because they are getting your hopes up that she's going to send some reply that means she's ready to get back together and that simply is not going to happen. You're still coming off as deperate and clingy. You need to move on, get a life, work on yourself. Start that by completely terminating the texts, that's the healthiest thing you can do for yourself right now.
You may be correct on all that you said. I have been doing alot for me and getting a life. But i still try to keep the communication open. Yes i read into the text and for that matter the lack of a text. But it is hard sometimes. I try to go with my gut on most things. What i mean i a do pray to God and ask for guidance and the words to say if that is what he wants me to do. Like i said it is hard.
I just know that my W's is just so very upset at me for well hanging out with her family. I do not invite them over or anything. her family comes to me and the call me to come over. She is so angry at her mom and fam. I'm just having a hard time with all this as i do not and will not file for a divorce. So if she is done then she will need to file. it has been about 4 moths since she had said she wanted one. so why has she not done it. I can take it as if she still has no idea what she wants or she is just being lazy or something. I have no idea.
today i want to text her just to say hi. but my gut is telling me no after i pray about it. It is just hard to not do something you want to do.
Ok well I tried one more time to text the W to wish her a good day. Well i will give you one guess on what happen, YUP nothing no reply at all. Well I need to talk to my DB Couch on the 3rd but at this point my gut is telling me to just stop all contact.
She is so angry for whatever reason she has in her head. I am sure it has to do with the time I spend with her family and one of her friends. Now keep in mind I do not reach out to them they come to me. so why the W is angry at me i have no idea. I think she just does not want to face the truth that she may be doing something wrong. also maybe she feels that the family is in an indirect way telling the W she is wrong..
anyway New Years is coming and im stumped on if i should even bother texting her happy new year. God she is just driving me nuts.
Since you've been texting her regularly for some time now, maybe bomb her with texts for a day or two and then cut 'em off cold and just sit quiet and monitor. Let her wonder. If she replies hold off... don't reply back too soon. If she gives you the usual nothing response, ignore it and don't respond. Wait and see if she replies again. The goal here is to get HER to chase YOU.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
We must think the same lol. I was thinking the same thing. This was my plan. Send a text today just to say i hope you have a good day. Then tonight text her to say happy new year.
Then thats it nothing more for some time. I have to say her mom even asked me if she said thank you for the gift i gave her. I told her nope i got nothing from her at all.
It was then that my W's mom told me that i should stop going anything for her NC.
see as i sit her i sent a text saying have a good day and nothing back from her at all.
I just wish i could understand why she is so angry still !! it is like she is holding on to it and does not want to let it go.
I need to say that i really am not doing well today.. I am down a little myself. Im just saying it here as sometimes just saying it helps. I do feel like sending W a text that would not be so nice!!! but i know this wil just feed into what ever is going on in her head.
Texting, emails, phone messages, etc., are all forms of pursuit. The more you do it...the more she will pull away.
Really guys, come on. Stop feeling like you have to make these contacts throughout the day. Even saying "have a good day" is pursuing! The idea is for her to realize you are not contacting her! (I'm pulling my hair out, here.) If my H had done that when I was the WAS, I would have puked!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
"The goal here is to get HER to chase YOU." Well, you've got part of it right, but the route is not good, IMO. If you lay it on thick or a few days and then go cold.....she'll appreciate the peace! Look, that just makes a guy look insecure, immature, and moody.
Sorry, if that shoots you down.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
