Been thinking about my situation and realise that what really upsets me is the lack of physical affection in my marriage. All my material needs are well met! I am not sure how long this has been going on, but was able to tolerate it, made excuses for my husband, tired, depressed, over worked, on BP meds etc until I found out that my DH appeared to be pursuing a relationship with another woman, his much younger co-worker. He claims that he was nothing doing wrong and sex never entered into it, that he would never have an affair and I should realise that. I tried to resuscitate our sex life but I never felt that he was that bothered. I am going to try the 4 point plan that I read about here. Something along the lines of : Work on me, work on his needs, involve him and work on our marriage together. I am hoping that if I work out and fulfil his needs the affection and physical attraction may follow.
Me 49y H 52y T23 y M17 y ??EA June 2012 with younger co-worker children 8-12
On reflection, I think this should be in the SSM forum and not sure if I should move over there. Today I tried a bit of amorous behaviour this morning in bed which resulted in DH leaping out of bed saying he had to get up! Maybe now is the time for a 180. I decided to make it a game, less hurtful and avoid all physical contact unless initiated by DH. This is proving quite hard, have to walk around with arms crossed behind my back. Within an hour I had an effect. DH actually gave me 3 goodbye kisses before he left!! If I can keep this up, and this works this is amazing......maybe I am just a bit too over demonstrative for him.
Me 49y H 52y T23 y M17 y ??EA June 2012 with younger co-worker children 8-12
Sorry you are not getting the responses that you would have expected.
My thought is that this is the right forum for you, although we dont get the same amount of traffic as newcomers.
Advina's sich is similar to yours. Actually so was mine, early on.
You might try looking into low energy type crisis, and depression. MLC is super depression, that can manifest itself in different ways. Sometimes high energy as in very typical MLC with the red corvette, and girls. Other times it is easier to SEE the depression, and there is almost no high energy replay. In that case it usually lasts a much longer time. Or at least that is my experience.
My suggestion is to keep posting and learning and you need to focus on yourself.
