Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Same Old Wagon Wheel Part 7

"Well not fully concentrating on her.

Uh, yes you are.

"B and others how did you continue striding forward knowing your W hates you."

See?

" My W is waiting for me to give her a reason to leave."

No she's already gone.

"The situation is delicate"

So your current option is to keep doing nothing but complain about how much your W "hates" you. When are you going to get that it's all her and has nothing to do with you.

I see what you're saying. I just feel torn sometimes. I feel if I address some of the issues with her it will damage my marriage. Why I fear addressing I'm not sure. I'm not sure why I can't man up. The other part I'm torn on I feel I allow her to walk on me and I feel my self esteem doesn't allow me to stand up to her.

B I agree that she is gone.

For a year I have been working on me. Believe it or not I'm in a much better place as far as "reacting" to her nonsense. Do I make mistakes yes.

Here is the gods honest truth . I feel if I address the txting issue that will push her right into L office. It has me frozen with fear and I can't seem to get over it.

You once told me to go live life. I think that is what I need to do but I have this giant feeling of inertia over me.

I am going for all day mountain bike ride tomorrow and almost time to flood rink

You feel that she is gone, that she hates you, that she treats you with utter disrespect and yet you don't want to wander into the unknown but continue doing what you are doing...which is clearly not helping?

Seems to me your walking on eggshells.
If you stand up for yourself she might react badly, but is this better/acceptable?

The first time I told my X I wouldn't accept her disrespect she said all kinds of hurtful things and got really mad. But it blew over and now she has been acting a lot better. IDK if it's related, but maybe.

UF that is Exact feeling I have. Walking on eggshells

"Walking on eggshells'

Because you choose to. Are we honestly still having this discussion?

PON

The workshop will enable you to gain clarity and resolve, which you need a lot of. And it'll be a catalyst for change and GAL -

but YOU will still have to do the work. You get that, right? So what's the hold up?

Have you signed up for it or not? Can you tell me your first name? (OR tell them your DB name...)

Good luck...til then, you have to 1) not make things worse

2) figure out what your worst fears are...and

3) see that even those, are survivable.

Have not signed up yet will call them Wed from work.

25 do I tell my spouse I'm going? I mean I have to get work off and it's a weekend course.

I could lie say its work related . I guess my fear is her seeing it as a ploy

Not make things worse so tolerate txting other men etc

I meant don't confront her about Om texting now before workshop. You said don't make things worse.

You keep saying you need to do the work as if I'm not doing some now??
A year ago with all this Om txting going on I would have snapped !

I will reserve you a spot for the Feb. Workshop. I am also attaching an enrollment form. Would you fill it out and send back with $100 deposit? More info will follow.
Thanks so much.
Tina

Done!