ok i,m not sure how to feel but heres the deal.i hear through the grapvine the ex is moving to another state. ive been nc for about a month and i dont know if i,m happy or sad. its easy to maintain the fantasy (affair) when you only visit one weekend a month. i guess the affair will have to stand on its own two feet when they see each other every day. and the pos convicts skeletens come out of the closet!
Long distance affairs feed off the fantasy and quite frankly, they really get to know all of the ugly warts and behaviors of each other. If your ex does move to another state and is in close contact, even possibly living w/the op, it won't take long for the "shine" to wear off the affair. They will have to deal w/the day-to-day responsibilities and yes, all of the nasty little warts will come to the surface and they will eventually see the truth of each other. The affair will have to die a natural death in order for them to realize that life doesn't sit still for their fantasy life.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
when people say exact opposite of the person you knew they werent kidding. we have a three month old granchild that she has only seen once. what kind of woman wouldnt want to spend as much time as she could with our grandaughter? i,m having a hard time not hating all the people that enabled her affair including our daughter. just have to let it go and sooner or later they will see reality.
crickets around here from the ex. not even questions about grandaughter. i even caught myself laughing today and had to be thankful for another day without the chaos she has brought. it does get better!
major backslide this weekend. 2x4,s welcome. thought i was doing a good thing by informing her what are son was doing but all i got was spew about not being happy in years and how happiness is being around people that lift her up instead of holding her feet to the fire for cheating. guess i,m not detached enough.
The best thing you can do is not contact her unless it is an emergency or she contacts you. By contacting her, it makes her feel like you are pursuing her. She needs time and space. She's got a lot of guilt and you have to let that spew roll off your back. She's lashing out at the safest person and that is you...but you know what? You don't have to sit and listen to it. When she starts spewing, change the subject and watch the air go out of her sails.
Spewing is really what Mlcers are good at and the more you side step the spew, the better.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
couple more weeks of nc and she texts me to say she is so mad at me and dont i think she,s been hurt enough? so i replied with a ?. she seems mad about something but wouldnt say what it was. so my standard reply to everything anymore is i,m sorry you feel that way! why do they blame us for stuff when we,re nowhere around?
Why do they blame us for things even when we are around? Well, it's because we are the reason that life is a b@tch for them. They don't have the sense to realize that they are the reason for a lot of their problems and yes, their environment. But, hey, we get blamed for the sky being blue. It's the damned if you do and damned if you don't.
So, she's angry. Most likely it's about something that has been in her mind a while. It may not even be a big deal, but to her it's really something to be mad about. Until she tells you, I wouldn't give it another thought. Your standard apology line is good.
Whatever is fueling her fire, it will eventually go out when she finds out that you are not reacting to her anger.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
one week of quiet and i sometimes wonder if i,m doing the right thing becuase part of me is asking if i could ever trust her again? but another part of me misses her! i know there is no definitive answer but i sometimes wonder if she will ever contact me?
