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This morning I woke up back on the rollercoaster. Saturday mornings were always special to me. After all week of him rushing off to work, I really enjoyed the sleep-in, snuggle, ML, snuggle, sleep more routine we had.

This morning I missed him so much. But what I miss is what I thought I had. I let him give me crumbs of affection for years. And watching him pursue OW now makes me laugh. The distancer/pursuer relationship will no doubt prove out. He will chase her 'til she catches him.

So many of my friends have told me how much in love with me X was. How he bragged about my accomplishments. But in retrospect I think he was threatned by all that is me. Outgoing, no-fear, get things done me. One of the things he said was that he felt like he didn't have his individuality.

Which is funny, because I always jumped in to get on board with all his plans. I thought that was what he wanted. Silly me.

But I was living on that crumb of a Saturday. He was not giving me much for the past many years. Since 2000 for sure. So this morning I made a promise to myself that I don't know what is in my future, but it sure as heck must be something good and I won't settle for less.

So as I was laying in bed, pondering being so alone, I decided to take back my Saturday Morning. I jumped out of bed, took care of the dogs, cleaned and organized for a bit, then grabbed my computer. And in my in-box was a delightful message from some guy from a dating site. Not sure if it would/could go anywhere. But YES, I am listening to the universe talk to me. Plenty of ham sandwiches to go around.

Heck, it isn't even 8:30 yet. Who knows where this day will lead?

Ahhhh Wendy, I think that is part of what makes the weekends difficult for me (or did, much better now). I know what you mean.

You post really resonates with me to day.

That's awesome Wendy.

A friend of mine was in a marriage where she gave her all while her partner just coasted. Both were miserable but the partner didn't even realize it until well after theyd separated. Their divorce is almost final and my friend is now in a new relationship and a step mom to two young kids. A ring is in her future and she ain't gonna settle for second best and a life of neglect ever again.

I'm in that camp too.

Wendy you seem totally committed to make the most out of everyday. That is such a awesome energy to put out in the world.

Most days I also feel better then I ever did when I was married. Most days I am happier to be alive. Most days I have more gratitude for the blessings in my life.

Each of us has so many wonderful things to contribute to this world, we shouldn't waste our time worrying about the one person that doesn't want to see us happy.

I really related to the recap of your R post. How you own your contribution but also now realizing his contribution and his lack of any resposiblitity for his contribution.

I feel sorry most days for my H. he is giving away so much love from me and his girls

Thanks friends! This weekend has been all granddaughters all the time. And my DIL wanted to see old photos, so I drug some boxes out. Pretty hard emotionally for me. I don't know which was worse, seeing all the ugly glasses I have worn over the years or the string of horrible haircuts. And of course all the endless photos of us all together as a happiy family were difficult.

I had a formal photo taken of X and I when we got commissioned in the Air Force laying on top of a pile. My 3 year old granddaughter said "I like that picture of you and Papa." I told her thank you and then she said: "I like it because you and Papa are together." Made me a bit sad.

Oh well, life goes on.

I imagine this whole thing with Petraeus is feeling uncomfortably familiar? I have to say, his OW, this Broadwell chick, gives off some of that same creepy vibe that John Edwards' mistress does.

I'm gonna write a book about the world's worst MLC-ers! Henry the 8th will be Numero Uno!!!

Petraeus says he wants to fix his marriage. How likely is that, I wonder? His biographer gets herself into the story of his life, and also has issues with some other woman, who is probably innocent. His poor wife.

Yes Ellie, the news about these powerful guys who decide they just don't care about convention is sad. And how often they go for Fatal Attraction types, should say something about their mindsets. I liken it to teenagers who have sex and don't realize pregnancy could be a result. Just absolutely no connection to reality.

Heather, you write your book. I'm certainly keeping notes for mine!

Actually I have two fantastic friends, who have walked the MLC walk with me, both of whose rather prominent and successful husbands had affairs [wholly out of character in each case], but decided to fix their marriages. 10 years down the line those marriages are rock solid, but the husband of one of the women said the first year was the hardest time of his life - the OW was like a drug he wanted to go bac to, but resisted.
He said a part of him didn't want to do the work, although another part of him really wanted it.

There are happy endings if the guys are prepared to work on the marriage and be honest about what went wrong . . . and the wives are prepared to listen