erm... For clarity, I meant "Yet, with me being the "profiled" LBS".
Also love the way snod puts the reconnecting and time and also points to you leaving the door ajar, even if you continue to keep hope tucked away in the lock box of your heart's closet.
I saw Concerned Listener's post in the Piecing forum and took a good look at his timeline. This now begins year 10, that he first registered on this site. It took 4 years of separation before he and his W even began to consider R. And it has been a five year journey of that...
So again, do what you continue to need to do for yourself and your kids. What ever may come...? Who knows...
My friend, I dont have much to add as Snodderly and KD have, as usual, offered such great insight.
I do feel that as we are the first person that they cast out, we are the last person with whom they reconnect, for a lot of reasons.
I have always said that if my xh were to really understand the depth of what he's done, it would bring him to his knees. And so, it is so difficult for them to do.
Your h is still in the tunnel. Peeking out a bit and looking at things. I feel that he is not ready to admit that it was not you not because the ow is more important, but, because that would mean he was so very wrong. And he is not able to deal with that now.
There are some very important positives that have happened. I am so happy that your son and his father are starting to reconnect.
This all takes years, S. Your h has to work through a lot.
I hope that this year brings you peace and contentment.
Oh Snodderly, thank you! I, too, believe in miracles and think of their reconnection as one.
You are a keen observer. Yes, there is some frustration on my part. Been thinking very seriously for that in order for me to move on and be able to get my affairs in order I must push the D that H started and stalled on 2 years ago, ahead. I can't do this while in limbo and it is causing me some anxiety. It is not what I want to do, but think I need to do.
I have also seen positive progress, so many I haven't mentioned. Just chalked them up to touch - n - goes. For instance, in Aug, H took the D's to the fair. (ow was out of town) They had a great time, so much so that H texted me and told me it was just like when they were little. A time when we would take them together as a family.
On the same outing, D20 told me they were walking through the concession stands. D pointed out a pink cowboy hat to her Dad that had the words Big B!tch on the front of the hatband. H said, "No thanks, I have one at home." It cracked D up, but when she looked at her Dad he wasn't even smiling. She said he just looked sad.
KD, sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. It has been S26 that disconnected from his Dad when he left. H, would half heartedly try reaching out, but when that would get him nowhere he would refer to our son as a childish a$$.
So, KD, as your D continues to mature and get new perspective on the sitch she may meet you halfway. Hang in there on that.
I would agree that H is emotionally detached from me. He still has maintained that what he did was the best for us. I think it's still justification, but admit that I wouldn't have grown in the ways that I have if he hadn't done it. He is still a long way from admitting to his path of destruction through what was once a very close knit family unit.
Please take care of yourself and if you have a chance ask others for my email addy. I no longer have the one we used to talk on. Just mine now under my real name.
Hang in there on that.
