PON, I am no wordsmith, but I think the most important thing is that you start taking a stand. I don't think it matters that she will be able to pay for the phone herself. It's the fact that you are not going to.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Yes making a stand is one thing. But their are proper ways to confront and not react.
Like Mr. B says. You don't have to be over the top. My thoughts are along the lines of this:
"are you txting men from your cell phone" she can say yes or no. If no, I can say well I know for a fact you are contacting Mr. X.
her: so what etc (25 always says to be prepared for this type of response)
"I find it extremely disrespectful, is there something we can talk about here?"
her: no to bad
me: "ok, that is your choice, but I am no longer going to pay for your cell phone bill if you continue with this behavior"
her "f off, azzhole" (boy do i know my w)
I guess my point it would be nice to role play with some ideas before I actually committ to it. Actually practice the confrontation in the mirror if I have too.
I would not ask "are you txting?" only to say after her response "well, I know for a fact you are". Then why would you ask?
If you know then maybe just state that you will not pay for her txting other men as it is disrespectful to you. What she does for her own money is her own choice.
I struggle with communication as well, so I'm not telling you what to do, just offering my thoughts.
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
I guess I wound't make a big production out of it.
"W, I know you're texting with OM and that makes me feel disrespected and hurt. If you continue to text with OM, I'm forced to stop paying for your phone. I can't fund this behavior."
Something simple..
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
SG I honestly can't believe she is acting with the out most disrespect to me 5 days before xmas. It disgusts me really. It disgusts me that I'm hosting her family and paying for that essentially too. As you can see I'm starting to really get frustrated with this OM crap. It might come up tonight.
Do you find your spouse having extreme mood swings. I'm still blown away about how it went down 2 days ago. I feel the mood swings are when she enguages with OM via txt. I also see a simple pattern. After 6 pm or so the txt comes in and her attitude changes.
I know this process takes extreme patience and to be quite honest all my friends and family state they would have never made it as long as I have.
I'm starting to fade fast lately. Yeah I KNOW I HAVE TO DETACH. I know I have to LET HER GO. I'm just struggling on how to do detach/let go while living under the same roof
I guess my point it would be nice to role play with some ideas before I actually committ to it. Actually practice the confrontation in the mirror if I have too.
If this is the way your w talks to you, then I think there are bigger issues than just her texting OM. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.
How can you practice the confrontation when you don't know what she will say? say.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Yes this is how my W speaks with me whenever we try to communicate. She threw her laptop at me Thx Giving night after a very nice day at her brothers and told me to F off because I stood up for myself stating I did not do anything to her laptop.
My W has a huge laundry list of issues she needs to work out on her side and I'm not sure she ever will based on history. out of my control.
My W is very disrespectful to me especially when she doesn't get or hear what she wants from ME about my opinion on staying married
Drew sorry to clarify. This is when my W actually confronts me about our situation and asks me my "expectations" of our marriage. When I tell her I want to stay married and work on the marriage and I don't support she gets upset.
