James you need to detach from her...are you doing anything to keep yourself busy? It is hard under the same roof I am sure...when W told me we had to wait for the kids to come back from GP house and then give them a week to decompress---so hard! What is your 180? Maybe it is "you need to get out sooner than later" don't be afraid sounds like she is going to do it anyway...having her around is making it harder on you to GAL....
Wife ensists that we are over. She has nothing left emotionally for me.
Have seen evidence that she believes at least that she is totally in love with OM.
She is moving into a place on Dec 8th. However, despite the insistence that we are over, she is now second guessing herself somewhat. She said that her 'fantasy bubble feels like its bursting and she needs time and space to figure out her feelings for OM'. She also stated that she did not expect me to sit around and wait for her to figure all this out.
I have simply decided to stop buying the ticket to their show and simply lead my own life.
Ended up out on Monday night with people from work in a local bar and spent time talking with a very nice young woman.
Word quickly got back to wife who promptly surprised me with her reaction of upset and a bit of anger! Didnt see that coming really.
She keeps talking about our relationship in terms of how she is afraid of losing her best friend.
Obviously, our relationship is more to me than that so there is no way I can continue to be this way with her, especially if she is with OM.
It really seems like she wants the cake and to eat it too!
1) Actively listening and taking a more genuine interest in her day and experiences. (The OM is basically a therapist, trained listener! - He is also 55 which really bothers me!!)
2) Making effort to spend some alone time with her - usually early morning before kids get up - just some general talking time
3) Getting myself in better shape - already down to 165lbs from 180lbs
4) Being more socially active (without her at this point)
5) More excercsing
6) New clothes, shoes etc. Generally smartening myself up.
7) Being more tolerant around the 3 kids even with some of the crazy behaviour they exhibit from time to time lol!
The hardest thing has been hearing her tell me about the feelings she has for OM. It literally feels awful.
She has sent so many mixed signals though its very hard to know what is going on in her mind.
I think she looks at me right now and is angry because of some of the things I did. I forgot to mention that I called the OM's wife and told her exactly what was happening. That didnt go down to well...............
I guess the motto of 'believe nothing of what she says and only half of what she does' is totally true because I cant make any sense of any of her actions right now!
