Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers In crisis -BIG MESS-help

I am learning about emotional and legal D, coping with these dark emotions, it's been more than 8 wks, don't know what I should do, like plan a different future, with out my son and W
it's like my new ship in a storm with one crew member and waiting for some safe sail and direction, and her ship with my son on it is sailing near by.
Detachment .. How do you do it ....

Plan anew life but not without your son. He should still be a part of your life and you his.

Are you in the US or in a place with different custody laws?

Do I communicate via text about what I am doing, she might me getting papers from my lawyer, she seem to be receptive but still doesnot want to see me. She just let me take my stuff from garage. If we are agreeing on stuff without bitterness and contempt that would be more collaborative and mutually less expensive.

I am in US, I meet my son in daycare every week about 2 hrs.. I might do that little more often when I get time. I don't see any posts similar to my situation, any posts you know....

When every I see my son , I have meltdown and I thinks he need me more than a 2 hours a week when i see him in daycare. Was again looking to see if there is any way to solve this issue with reconciliation and mediation with parents, last time we did her mom said it is upto W to decide. She is side tracked herself and gave the steering to her D. Should I ask W to pick son at home on weekend spend a day or afternoon.

When every I see my son , I have meltdown and I thinks he need me more than a 2 hours a week when i see him in daycare. Was again looking to see if there is any way to solve this issue with reconciliation and mediation with parents, last time we did her mom said it is upto W to decide. She is side tracked herself and gave the steering to her D. Should I ask W to pick son at home on weekend spend a day or afternoon.

I'm sorry, I didn't see your last post.

You should seek legal advice about having your son more. I know you MIL probably has a lot of influence but this is between you and your wife.

If you would put a recap of your situation in your signature line it's helpful for others reading. You'll see My Stuff under the banner above, click it then select My Profile from the dropdown. Almost to the bottom you'll see signature. Thanks

And you should have regular, scheduled time with your son.

Hello EI,

I'm sorry you find yourself in such despair. You have come to a great place given your circumstances.

I'd suggest reading Big Bruce's thread. His sitch has similarities. He also has a young child and is working towards securing additional time with him.

From my experience, fighting for your rights as a father must take precedence over reconciliation with your W. I highly HIGHLY suggest seeking legal advice in knowing what those rights are.

I gather that your W has no respect for you. By taking a stand for your child, it will be a step in regaining her respect, however that is not the reason to do it. The reason is because your child needs you and it's the right thing to do.

Your W is playing on your fear. It is pretty common to be perfectly honest. Don't allow fear to be your guide. Fear will lead you directly to the land of regret.

Thanks litb, labug.. Felt lost, she is playing on my emotions and loves to control, mil with her as resque, now she is retired and moved in with my W. I will talk to lawyer about my son and will schedule reg visits as my top priority.